Happy New Year to all the Survivors out there - you are not alone.

Merry Christmas

This blog isn't the type that generates a lot of comments, but quite a few people read it.

I just want to thank you all for reading, it keeps me going.  I feel a need to share what I know, to reach out to the hurting, and to educate parents on how to keep their kids safe.

Wishing you all Happy Holidays!

Mission Viejo Man Arrested for Child Molestation

"A 43-year-old Mission Viejo man is being held on $1-million bail after being arrested Thursday on charges of child molestation.

Omar Guzman was booked into jail Thursday after being arrested for allegedly molesting two young children who live nearby him in the Casa Loma condo complex on the 25800 block of Marguerite Parkway.

Social Services contacted the Sheriff’s Department, which investigated the incident and discovered a third young victim from years ago.

Guzman faces multiple life sentences if convicted."

taken from Mission Viejo Life Blog

OC Teacher Arrested for Having Sex With Student

Scott Adrian Peterson

You can find the full story here on the OC Register's site.  The allegations are that this teacher, age 48, has had an ongoing sexual relationship with a 17 year old student.  By law, a person has to be 18 years old to legally consent to sex so he was hauled off to jail.

So, lets say this student was indeed 18 years old.  Suddenly it becomes legal for her Spanish teacher to have sex with her, but does that make it okay?  Does the school condone such things?  How do the other students feel (or this guy's wife if he has one).  

I personally would not want my children being taught by a teacher that was sexually involved with one of their classmates.  This guy is 31 years older than the girl.  Something is not right here even if it were legal (which it is not).

A Community for Survivors of Rape and Sexual Abuse and Their Friends and Family

I received a heartbreaking comment here this week.  It reminded me once again how alone and devastated one can feel as they try to live a "normal" life after having their childhood corrupted and stolen from them by sexual abuse.  Its so hard to talk about it because, as I've mentioned before, even if the victim is willing to bring it up - it makes other people uncomfortable because they don't know what to say. UNLESS you have walked in the same painful shoes, its difficult to comfort someone and sometimes can even unintentionally make them feel even more isolated by lack of knowing what to say.  That's one reason I recommend Pandy's (officially known as Pandora's Project).

Pandy's is the best resource I know of to find real people who understand and care about what you may be going through.  I have volunteer on their site and donate when I can.  There are other sites out there, RAIIN is the largest one, but I feel that Pandy's is more warm, and inviting with real people there for one purpose.  

Pandora's Project is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization dedicated to providing information, support, and resources to survivors of rape and sexual abuse and their friends and family. We have been devoted to recovery and healing since 1999.

Pandora's Project offers peer support to anyone who has been a victim of rape, sexual assault, or sexual abuse through our online support group, Pandora's Aquarium. We believe that connecting with other rape and sexual abuse survivors is an important part of healing. Our online support group includes a message board, chat room, and blogs. It is free to join and is safely moderated by a diverse group of survivors.

If you are in crisis or need professional support now, check out these resources to find the help you deserve: Crisis Support & Hotlines

Pandora's Project is staffed entirely by volunteers. To make a tax-deductible donation to support our work, please visit our donations page.

Rabbi and His Three Sons Accused of Raping Daughters/Sisters

This is exceptionally sick and evil.  A rabbi doing and his sons raping and abusing his daughters for years, one as young as 8 years old.  I hope they pay for their crimes. 

NEW YORK -- A Hasidic rabbi and three of his sons are suspected of sexually abusing at least four female relatives after the eldest victim confided in a co-worker at a Jewish school, police said Friday.

The 58-year-old father and his 21-year-old son fled to Israel two days ago and are wanted for questioning in the case, police said. They were apparently driven to the airport by the mother.

Two other sons, a 24-year-old and a 15-year-old, were arrested on sexual abuse and rape charges. It was unclear whether they had attorneys, and a message left at the home wasn't immediately returned.

The suspects' names are being withheld by The Associated Press to avoid identification of victims.

Police say the abuse came to light after the oldest victim, now 20, who worked as a teacher's aide at a yeshiva in Brooklyn, told a teacher there she had been abused. Authorities believe she was assaulted by her father repeatedly for 15 years. The other victims range in age from 8 to 19, and investigators believe the abuse was also repeated.

Police say the father is suspected of abusing at least two of his daughters. The brothers were accused of rape and other crimes for abusing their sisters. The youngest suspect was accused of sexually assaulting the 8-year-old.

Source:  KTLA

Convicted Sex Offender Set Free By Stupid Judge

This one really gets me irate! This guy is dangerous and needs to be kept locked up, yet he "found Jesus" in prison so the judge is letting him out??!!??!!??!! Unbelievable.

I took the following from True Crime:

Joel Large doesn't seem deserving of a pass. In 2008, a juvenile told Los Lunas, New Mexico police that the 44-year-old creep was stalking her in a sexual manner. A search of his house revealed photos and videos of children engaging in sex with each other and adults...

Detectives also found meth, syringes and baggies used for packaging meth for sale. Large further confessed that he'd been supplying kids with booze and cigs. 

He would later plead no contest to sexual exploitation of children, drug trafficking and three counts of contributing to the delinquency to a minor. In July, Judge William Sanchez sentenced him to 12 years in prison. 

At the time, Large had already done two years in jail while he awaited sentencing. Other inmates hadn't treated him so well. He'd been raped and beaten by his fellow cons. According to his brother, the whole ordeal caused him to find Jesus. 

So Large's lawyer appealed the sentence, asking Judge Sanchez to reconsider. Large claimed he'd been a meth addict since 1984, and that it impaired his decisions. He also claimed he didn't know downloading child porn was illegal. Finally, he said he'd found Jesus while in the slam, and that he was now ready to devote his life to Christ.

We're not sure if Judge Sanchez is a religion nut, a liberal do-gooder, or maybe just the most naive judge in the Western Hemisphere. But he apparently bought Large's plea. 

On Tuesday, he set Large free after serving just five months of his original sentence. Though Large will still be on probation for five years and have to register as a sex offender, he's now free to roam the streets of Los Lunas. That can't be good for the little girls in town -- or the judge's reelection odds.

One of the Worst Types of Offenders....

In my opinion one of the worst types of offenders are the men (and women) in clergy.  In their position of not only power, but of "spiritual direction" a child (or adult) can be left traumatized not only physically, emotionally and mentally - but spiritually as well.

I'd like to share a link to a blog called "Deep Thoughts".  The writer of this blog may be bringing these stories to light for his own reasons, but the important thing is that we become aware to the point that we are not paranoid but careful.

Years ago I found out that my son's childhood Sunday School teacher was arrested for sexually abusing a child.   No one at our church had any clue that this guy was a perv, he had a wife and son of his own.  He appeared to be a nice guy.  I wrote about him here.

So, remember, it happens not just in stories of others, but to us as well.  I wish we didn't have to think about these things.  I wish hating something made it go away.  Unfortunately that doesn't work.

Violent Sexual Predator Relased to OC Tomorrow!

Lawrence Brown

Sometimes I want to throw intelligent words out the window and just yell at the top of my lungs, "WHAT THE ____ ARE THEY THINKING!"

One thing I know is that it has been shown again and again and again that sexual predators can not be rehabilitated. They get out and re-offend and MANY times the crimes escalate. The absolute perfect example from very recently is this scumbag, John Gardner, who KILLED two young girls after being let out after raping several girls.

WHEN ARE WE GOING TO LEARN THAT ENDANGERING INNOCENT PEOPLE IS NOT OKAY? 

I am sickened. Here's the story:

SANTA ANA, Calif. (KABC) -- The Orange County District Attorney's (OCDA) Office released a statement Tuesday warning the community of the impending release of a convicted violent sex offender.

The suspect, Lawrence Joseph Brown, 52, was convicted of kidnapping and forcible sex on two Santa Ana girls, ages 7 and 8, in two separate assaults. Sentencing enhancements were added to the convictions due to the violent nature of the crimes.

Brown was released on parole in April. He was free for several days before he violated his parole. He had registered as a sex offender in Santa Ana but lived with a girlfriend in Tustin. Tustin Police were never notified. On May, 6, 2010, only 10 days after being released from prison, he was violated on his parole and sent back to state prison.

The OCDA has requested that Brown be classified as a Sexually Violent Predator so he would be civilly committed, according to the OCDA's office.

The OCDA's office says the state Department of Mental Health has not responded to the classification request in a timely manner.

Brown is scheduled to be released Wednesday from Chino State Prison. He's scheduled to be released into Orange County.

Taken from ABC News, rest of story (including a video) here.  THIS VIDEO TELLS YOU WHAT KIND OF A MONSTER THIS GUY IS!  ITS INSANE THAT THEY ARE LETTING THIS DUDE OUT!

Rape outside the USA - Part One

I would never call a rape survivor "fortunate" but I can say that those of us who have endured the crime of rape  here in the States are much more fortunate than in many other parts of the world.

I am going to start a series about what its like for a victim of rape in other countries by linking to articles or stories, and also by interviewing a  young lady I know from a Muslin country.

In India the laws are humiliating, unjust and completely non-scientific.  They use "the finger test" which is exactly what you it sounds like (see here for full article and be prepared to be angered).

Thankfully these laws are coming up for review and many human rights organizations are making a loud noise to have them changed.  As in many places (including here) the victim is often blamed for the crime.  I don't think many women stand a chance of seeing justice in India unless these laws are revised.

"At the core of the finger-test is the widespread belief that a sexually liberated woman is "asking for it" and protecting her is not the state’s responsibility."

The rest of the article is HERE.

Two Perverts Targeting Teen Girls in Orange County

This one exposes himself to girls walking to school.

This one molests girls on the city bus.

When and where are our children safe?  These incidents happened in the daytime hours with other people around!

Documentary on young rape survivors in Zimbabwe

Tapestries of Hope, is a documentary on young rape survivors in Zimbabwe. Information about the documentary can be found at http://www.tapestriesofhope.com/


The documentary will be screened in over 100 theaters across the United States on September 28 at 7:30 PM. 


I will post locations here as soon as they are available.

Severity of Crimes Escalate for Most Sexual Deviants

When is our judicial system going to recognize that most murderer/rapists started out committing lesser crimes which typically escalate over time? Time and time again we slap the wrists of someone who has committed a sexual assault, give them their freedom and allow them to create more victims. This precious little girl would be alive today if this guy would have not been allowed the freedom to abduct, rape and kill her:


(photos not uploading will add later)

Michelle Sigona wrote about it on her blog a few days ago, check here for details.

For a very shocking story that also illustrates this point, check here, but please be warned its very graphic and disturbing to read what these ten year old boys did to a two year old boy.

Coach Convicted

I apologize for sounding like a broken record but I won't stop saying this as long as it keeps happening:

PARENTS, DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN HANG OUT WITH ANY ADULT UNLESS YOU TRUST THAT PERSON 100% WITH YOUR CHILD'S LIFE AND WELL BEING.  

Coaches, teachers, clergy, doctors --- it doesn't matter.  If you don't know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the person is safe, why risk your child being molested, or worse?  

I agree, its horrible to have to live with our child's safety a constant concern.  It should NOT be this way.  We should NOT have to live in fear.  But sadly, that's the way it has to be if we want to protect our kids.  

Predators choose occupations and situations that allow them to be NEAR CHILDREN and gain the trust of their parents.  Red flags should go off if your child's coach, teacher, etc. shows ANY interest in your child. 

To me, this sad case is the classic example.  When will parents "get it"? I guess I am just cynical or better educated on the topic but this would have made me very suspicious.  How often do we have to read these stories to have it sink in? 

"Baca would "groom" his victims first befriending their parents, dropping by their homes unannounced, giving the boys gifts – including sports cards — and ultimately showing them pornography."

From the OC Register:

Cameron Joseph Baca, 29, of San Clemente, was found guilty of nine counts of lewd acts with a minor, four counts of showing pornography to a minor, one count of attempted lewd act on a child under 14, and possession of child pornography.

Cameron Joseph Baca booking photo

He now faces a potential life term in state prison at his Sept. 17 sentencing by Judge David A. Thompson.

Baca met his victims — two 11-year-old boys and a 12-year-old boy — between January 2006 and December 2008 while coaching them on football, lacrosse and basketball teams in San Juan Capistrano, San Clemente and Dana Point.

Deputy District Attorney Heather Brown told the jury that Baca would "groom" his victims first befriending their parents, dropping by their homes unannounced, giving the boys gifts – including sports cards — and ultimately showing them pornography.

The parents of one boy, who had severed ties with Baca after becoming suspicious of the amount of time Baca was spending with their son, contacted law enforcement in December 2008 after the boy disclosed the alleged molestation, prosecutors said.

Subsequent investigation by the Orange County Sheriff's Department turned up other boys, prosecutors said.

Baca admitted in his testimony that he molested one victim, but denied sexual contact with the others.

But Brown argued that testimony was Baca's attempt to avoid convictions for molesting multiple victims, sentencing enhancements which call for a life sentence.

Brown also argued that Baca's collection of child pornography on his computer (more than 2,000 images and 500 videos) demonstrated a predilection for molesting young boys.

Teen Girl Raped at Pool, Left to Drown

At least that's how I read this story!  The two brothers that raped this girl should also be held responsible for leaving her unconscious in a pool.  She is lucky someone saw her and pulled her out in time.

Please young ladies - do not get so drunk or so high that you allow yourselves to be 100% vulnerable.  Do not go drinking or drugging alone with males, even if you think they are "friends".

Here is the full story.

This happened in Huntington Beach not far from where I work.  It happened in the MORNING in daylight.  I guess its a blessing in disguise that she doesn't even remember the sexual assault....ugh.

One in Seven Kids Solicited for Sex Online

Story here.

This statistic has to change.

Missing Girl Found - Perv Arrested

Dave Egert

Several things come to mind when I look at this guys picture, but the main one is: why would a 13 year old be attracted to this creepy looking old guy?  I don't know if she went with him willingly or not - or if he used his real photo when having sexual contact with her online.

Its very sad that the Internet has become a hunting grounds for pedophiles and perverts.

PARENTS!  Please keep an eye on what your children are doing online.  Never assume your child "would never do such a thing".  Invest $100 in some software that will allow you to see everything your child does online without them being able to know you are spying checking up on them.

Is this an invasion of privacy?  Well lets put it this way, when I suspected my son of using drugs, installed this software and found out that he was using heroin...I didn't give a shit about his privacy I wanted to save his LIFE.  I would do the same if I had a daughter.  I rather have her pissed off at me than to lose her to an online predator.

Here is the story that goes with the photo above. (source:  OC Register)

Here is the software I used, it was recommended by my local police department:

Spectro Pro

MORGAN HARRINGTON’S MURDER LINKED TO A SEXUAL ASSAULT

Michelle Sigona has a post about this on her site.  Check it out HERE.  I hope that they find this guy and put him away forever.  How many more girls must die?

Morgan

I am still very curious about Morgan's situation and how she met up with her murderer.  Its a very sad reminder that women are often not safe when we are alone.

What Do You Think of This Anti-Rape Device?

(Blogger not allowing me to post a photo, but I will as soon as I am able)

Called Rape-aXe, the female condom is inserted by a woman much like a tampon. Of the effects of the condom on an attacker, Ehlers explained, “It hurts, he cannot pee and walk when it’s on. If he tries to remove it, it will clasp even tighter… however, it doesn’t break the skin, and there’s no danger of fluid exposure.” Further more, only a doctor can remove Rape-aXe once it’s lodged on, meaning that hopefully, police can be on standby to make an arrest when the injured assailant look for medical help.

Ehlers designed the spiked condom after seeing the devastation in the eyes of a rape victim that came to her for help 40 years ago. She consulted engineers, gynecologists and psychologists to confirm that the design was safe and now plans to distribute 30,000 of them for free during the World Cup, after which they’ll be available for about $2 each. “The ideal situation would be for a woman to wear this when she’s going out on some kind of blind date … or to an area she’s not comfortable with,” she said.

Ehlers even visited prisons to speak to convicted rapists about whether such a device would have made them rethink their actions. “Some said it would have,” she said.

Some critics are saying that the device could lead to more violence by an attacker trapped by it, and that it is a medieval solution, a criticism to which Ehlers, a mother of two daughters responded, “Yes, my device may be a medieval, but it’s for a medieval deed that has been around for decades. I believe something’s got to be done … and this will make some men rethink before they assault a woman.”

We do have one question about the design though – how does a woman take the device out herself and how can she prevent an attacker from doing the same?

Read more: South African Doctor Invents Female Condoms with 'Teeth' to Fight Sexual Assault | Inhabitat - Green Design Will Save the World

Source: Inhabitat

Coach Pleads Guilty in Rape of Young Girls

YMCA employee James Connor gets 20 - 30 years.

"Conner sexually assaulted two girls numerous times while employed as a coach for the Melrose YMCA and used hidden video cameras to record himself in the act. Prosecutors said Conner committed the crimes over several years at his home and at YMCA after-school programs. Both of the victims were under 14 at the time.

Conner was hired at the Y in 1995 as a coach and joined the after-school program in 2001. He was arrested in February 2009."  source:  Boston Examiner

Once again someone most people would trust their children around has proved to be a predatory monster.  Its very sad that we have to be leery of men who choose jobs which involve being around children, but we do.

I feel bad for all the legit basketball coaches are out there teaching teen girls how to play a great sport and mentoring them in teamwork, but unfortunately we need to be suspicious of anyone who works with children.  We need to examine their lives and their actions, and if they put up one ounce of protest - they should not be allowed in the position to be around children.

One Less Predator on the Streets

I have a headache.  Its been a long day, week, month...several years.  A lot has happened in my personal life but I refuse to let that keep me from writing here and doing whatever I can to reach out to other survivors of various sexual offenses.

Today was a good day in that regard.

About a year ago I met a young lady who had been through a horrific ordeal.  Today I got to watch the man that had preyed upon her admit his guilt in court and be sentenced.  Details on my other blog.

I couldn't help but wonder what was going through his mind.  Was he sorry for what he did?  Or was he just sorry that he got caught?  Either way he'll have plenty of time in Orange County Jail to think about it.

Another Online Predator Captured in Orange County, CA

Good job to the Huntington Beach police for catching yet another perverted preying on young girls via the Internet.  Story here on the OC Register.

Alvin Huynh

PARENTS:

PLEASE be aware of what your child is doing online! I'll be straight up, there was no Internet when I was a young teen, had there been I would have probably gotten myself into a lot of trouble or put myself in danger.  Young girls do not understand what they are getting themselves into when they get involved with someone on-line.  They put themselves at risk for all kinds of danger.  PLEASE don't let it happen to your daughter (or son).

Another Little Girl Murdered

Kayleah Wilson

Her body is so badly decomposed - we may never know if she was also sexually assaulted.  But statistically chances are that she was.  How horrific.  Walking to a birthday party from her home this little girl was abducted and murdered.  When will this end?  Why does it happen so often?

John Gardner Gets Life - Two Lives Too Late

John Gardner pleaded guilty today.  He raped and murdered these two young women:

Amber Dubois, 14        Chelsea King, 17

He was a registered sex offender running around loose instead of behind bars where he belonged.

That's all I have to say.

Kyle Nachreiner - Is This Guy Serious?

A few weeks ago I wrote about Kyle's pity party that he's throwing.  Remember good old Kyle?  He was one of the three men convicted of gang raping an unconscious girl on a pool table and video taping it as evidence to be used against him.  Not the brightest guys.

Kyle doesn't like being a registered sex offender, its cramping his style and making it difficult to get dates.  Poor Kylie - he wants to meet a nice girl that wants to date a rapist, but no such woman exists.  

Thanks to David Whiting of the OC Register we now have an interview with the victim of this crime.  ("Jane Doe" if you ever read this, thank you for speaking out.  I think of you often.)

You can read it for yourself here.

I'll just leave you with one quote from this scum, his attitude it says it all.  Absolutely no remorse.

Wearing mirrored sunglasses, Nachreiner whined he couldn't go swimming because he has to wear a GPSdevice. As for being a registered sex offender, he said, "It's emasculating."

Melissa Huckaby Pleads Guilty To Murder of Sandra Cantu

It was one year and one month ago today that I wrote about this exceptionally horrific crime.  All sexual abuse is evil, and certainly murder is, but this story is uniquely horrible.

Its not often that women are sexual predators and/or murder little girls that happen to be friends with their own daughters.  And on top of that, she stuffed her body in a suitcase and threw it in a pond of some sort.

I will never forget the surveillance video of the trailer park where little Sandra Cantu lived.  It shows her skipping happily along as she heads over to her little friends house.  A sweet 8 year old without a care in the world unknowingly walking into the home of her murderer.

I don't even want to think of the terror and pain she may have felt as this woman abused her.

They say Melissa Huckaby must be insane or mentally ill to have committed such a heinous crime --- I'm sure that's true!  Healthy minded people wouldn't do such a thing BUT NEITHER WOULD MOST MENTALLY ILL people!

She is dangerous and needs to be kept away from society.  I heard she's getting 25 to life.  That sounds fair to me if they stick to the life part.

My heart literally aches tonight when I think of this precious little girl's family.  How does a mother endure such a loss?  I think a part of parent's heart must die when they lose a child for any reason, but this is the worst possible way to lose anyone.

Is there an overabundance of perverted criminal sex offenders among professional athletes?

Lawrence Taylor

It sure seems that way. I know there are plenty of non-proffessional athletes committing the same heinous crimes against women, they just don't get all the media attention.

The latest one makes me cringe. 51 year old Lawrence Taylor arrested for rape, charged with calling a pimp and having a 16 year old girl brought to his hotel. I am not into football but even I recognize his name.

Check out this quote from the NY Times:

"...was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1999 and is considered one of the best defensive players to play in the N.F.L., had a 13-year career with the Giants that was marred by problems with drugs and alcohol. He was suspended several times by the N.F.L. and was arrested multiple times for drug possession. In the past few years he has re-emerged as a public personality, including working in front of the camera on N.F.L. broadcasts. He has said his drug problems are in his past."

Perhaps Mr. Taylor (aka scumball rapist of underage women) no longer has a drug or alcohol problem but he has a moral and legal problem. Disgusting.

And this girl - chances are she's a victim of being used as a prostitute. Sounds like she may be a runaway that got caught up doing what she had to do to survive on the streets or support a drug habit? Who knows, but I hope she gets help.

This is Ridiculous

This is the kind of thing that raises my blood pressure.  Jury acquits accused rapist based on her tight jeans.  They said that there is no way he could have got her pants off without her help.  Its not the first time a rapist has walked away from his crime using the "skinny jeans defense".  Its obviously bullshit.  Its another case of a woman being blamed for her own rape, for "asking for it" or agreeing to it.  Why would she report it as a crime and go through the humiliation and hassle is it was consensual?  Most likely she wouldn't.  I am not saying that there has never been a woman who falsely accused a man - but its the exception NOT the rule.

Men Walk A Mile In Women's Shoes - Literally!

The woman interviewed in this, Dawn, is the one who taught the SAVA (sexual assault victim advocate) classes I took.  She's on my top ten list of people I admire.

Drawing the Line Between "Victim" and "Offender"

People often tell me that I am compassionate, fair and empathetic.  That I have the ability to look at situations from both sides and therefore am open minded.  Well I'd just like to go on the record of saying - that's true but I don't know if its a blessing or a curse.  I suppose a  bit of both.

I debated on whether or not to write this blog post.  I have to ask myself if I am biased because I've met the young man accused in this case.  I can honestly say that no - that has not formed my opinion, its just reminded me that every story has two sides and more importantly - that many offenders were once victims themselves.

Here is the situation:  A 16 year old boy is accused of raping a 2 year old girl.  That sounds horrific.  It sounds inhuman, sick, evil.  A few days ago it was announced that this young man, Chris, will be tried as an adult and his name and photo were on the front page of the local newspaper.

If you were to read the story you would most likely conclude that Chris needs to be locked up and never allowed around a child again.  You would think he was guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt (if you read the mother's story - which I'm sure everyone in Racine, Wisconsin has).

"Christopher (I took his last name out), 16, was charged Friday with first-degree sexual assault of a child under the age of 12. If convicted, he faces up to 60 years imprisonment, which includes time in prison or on extended supervision.

*********'s case was waived into adult court on Thursday; he had previously been charged as a juvenile. Judge Stephen Simanek, who granted the waiver request, said a primary concern for him was the five-year maximum sentence ******* would have faced as a juvenile. In the adult system, the maximum sentence is 12 times that amount."

I believe it was wrong for the paper to print his photo and this  article.  He should be protected as a juvenile, he has rights too.  Chris may be 16 but he is a very immature kid, with learning disabilities who, when I met him, appeared to be about 12 or 13, he does not seem like a teenager let alone an adult.

Also, why would he try to sexually molest this little girl?  Normal 16 year old boys don't have a desire for 2 year old girls.  NORMAL.  Chris is a victim of child molestation.  He was not born with this sick, twisted compulsion.  He is a victim too.  In almost every case of pedophilia the offender was once a victim.

I agree that we need to do all we can to protect children from these people (usually men).  I think Chris is old enough to know that what he did (if he did it) is wrong.  But should he be treated as an adult based on his crime?  Or should the court take into consideration that he is still a child himself - confused, immature and damaged.

The other side of this story is the credibility of the mother of the victim. Did she make this up to cover up for one of the many men that she's let live with her and her daughter?  Criminals, drug addicts and child molesters?!!!!  Does it matter that the mother has a history of lying and being a drama queen that constantly seeks attention?  Would it make a difference to know her original story changed three times or that she has a criminal background herself or that she sees money to be made by exploiting what happened to her daughter?

I didn't see any of that in the paper.  I know about it because I know the people involved and a close friend of mine is in the middle.  He may be forced to "take sides" and doesn't want to.  He's known Chris since the day he was born and he's related to the accusers.  How does he choose sides when he knows that the accusers are very shady characters that would use something like this to their own advantage?

Its just very sad.  Its sad for the little girl, at age two, who may or may not have been abused (rape kit was inconclusive so there is no hard evidence in this case).  I do believe Chris did something to her - I don't know what.  But why?  Because someone did something to him.

If he is guilty, I hope they do all they can to keep him away from children.  If studies and statistics are correct, there is little chance for him to be rehabilitated if he truly is a pedophile.  Its an endless cycle of abused becoming abusers.

My hope is that Chris gets a fair trial.  That he gets the treatment he needs and deserves.  I also hope that the mother is not allowed to capitalize in any way by selling her story or being paid for interviews.  I can see her jumping at an opportunity to do that.

But most of all, I hope that the little girl is okay.  I hope that someone will investigate to see if she is safe in that home.  I hope that she will not be scarred for life because of what another child did to her, acting out of his own past abuse.

Its ugly and sad from any angle.

I've Got News for you, Kyle Nachreiner! You Are Paying for Your Crime - Get Over It!

In today's OC Register Kyle Nachreiner is having a public pity party.  The poor guy is bummed out that he can't get women to date him because he's a convicted sex offender.  Once someone notices the GPS device on his ankle they lose interest - hmm, I wonder why?

would you want your daughter or sister dating Kyle?

He is one of the three men that were convicted of a brutal, exceptionally demoralizing rape of an unconscious girl.  There is no doubt he participated - they recorded the entire incident on videotape:

On July 5, 2002, when he was 17, Nachreiner and two other male teenagers, Gregory Haidl and Keith Spann, sexually assaulted a seemingly unconscious teenage girl in the Corona del Mar home of Haidl's father, then-Assistant Sheriff Don Haidl. The trio videotaped the episode, a 21-minute movie that shows the friends laughing as they shove a pool cue, a lit cigarette, a juice can and Snapple bottle inside the girl as she lay intoxicated on a pool table.

Now Kyle is crying about how unfair this is, boo hoo.  He says:

"I went from being in the paper for playing varsity baseball as a freshman to being in the paper for a rape case."

Well, Kyle, if you hadn't committed the rape you wouldn't have this reputation.  But you did.  And you will forever be connected with this case.  Maybe you should have been the one to say "this is not a good idea, lets not rape this unconscious girl with lit cigarettes, pool cues and Snapple bottles."

Then he has the audacity to say this, this is just incredible to me:

Nachreiner, though, may appeal his case to the state Supreme Court. He says it is unfair for him to endure the punishment of being tagged as a sex offender until he dies.

"I served my time. I went to prison. Now, I'm stuck with that label.

"Psychologically, it's devastating. It's the worst form of degradation there is."

WHAT?????  Its the worst form of degradation there is?  WTF?  He thinks of HIMSELF as a victim in this case!  That's hysterical and nauseating.

Thankfully we don't know the name of the victim in this case, but you know darn well all her friends, family, neighbors, classmates and many others DO KNOW who she is.  SHE knows who she is. SHE has to live with this for the rest of HER life!

I've written about this case several times, check the labels for "Greg Haidl".  I will end here before I blow a gasket.  Don't get me started on how unfair this trial was due to blaming of the victim AND due to the fact that these three rich boys got special consideration since one was related to the Deputy Sheriff or our County.

Westminister Detective Arrested for Rape

Two police officers car-jack, kidnap and rape a 24 year old.  Nice.  I hope that if they are convicted and sent to jail I hope they experience the same treatment as the other inmates from the officers that work in that jail.  They were extremely rude and harsh with me as a visitor - so you can imagine how the inmates are treated.  I also hope that they are put in general population and the other inmates can intimidate and scare and rape them in the same way they did this young woman.  IF they are found guilty.  You know what I learned last year, "innocent until proven guilty" is a joke in our judicial system.  Its the other way around.

Here are the details from the Orange County Register:

WESTMINSTER – An off-duty Westminster police detective and a state corrections officer were arrested Saturday night in connection with a carjacking, kidnapping and rape of a 24-year-old restaurant employee in Ontario, police said.

Anthony Nicholas Orban, 30, a five-year officer assigned to investigations with the Westminster Police Department, has been relieved from duty during the investigation, a department spokesman said Monday morning.

The other suspect is Jeff Thomas Jelenek, 30, an officer with the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, according to San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department booking records.

The arrests were first reported by the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin late Sunday.

Sgt. Dan Schoonmaker, of the Westminster Police Department, confirmed the details in the Daily Bulletin story, saying it was the same information his department has received from Ontario police.

A police service weapon found in the restaurant worker's car led authorities to Orban.

This month the topic will be in the media more than any other time of year (hopefully).  Here is a link to the official site.

Unfortunately statistics say that it happens to one in every four girls.  So you do know victims that have been abused, and you may know future targets of abuse/assault that can be spared.

I think parents especially need to be hyper-vigilant about knowing who their children (boys and girls) are spending time with.  Sadly, when children are involved, nine times out of ten its someone that knows the child and/or family.  If you look through my blog you will see story after story that involve baseball coaches, teachers, church workers, priests, neighbors, babysitters, piano teachers, gymnastic instructors, track coaches, family friends, soccer coaches, Sunday school teachers, relatives...and the worst of all the child's own parent.

My suggestion is to teach our children the basic safety rules we all grew up with about not talking to strangers, telling a parent or teacher if an anyone touches them inappropriately, etc.  But we have to be careful not to scare them to death with the endless possibilities and cause unnecessary fear.  Parents have to do their part to keep their kids protected.

We can't be with our kids 24/7 but when they are young we should know where they are, who they are with, and that they are not in any vulnerable situations.

A blog friend has a blog called "fallen from grace" about her personal experience growing up with abuse.  There is an excellent post there today called "Identifying Sexual Abuse".  I've done research, read books and had training in this area and her has info I've never seen before.

So anyhow, I just wanted to call your attention to this issue and do my part to spread the word.  Thanks.

Greg Haidl Verdict Still: GUILTY

Thankfully the judge's in this appeal made the right decision.  I don't think my blood pressure could have handled it if they would have let these monsters walk away.

The defense in this case tried the classic move:  blaming the victim.  They wanted to discredit the victim by using her prior sexual activity in  in order to obtain a not guilty verdict for these three sadistic rapists.  I wonder if they would make the same argument if "Jane Doe" was their own daughter.  I think not.

Police Officer Accused of Rape

James Roberts III

Its extremely disturbing when someone in a "trusted role of authority" commits a crime.  It is abhorrent when the crime is rape and the alleged rapist is a POLICE OFFICER.  The victims are his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend who both filed charges with the Huntington Beach Police Department.  The charges were IGNORED and no action against this guy was taken!  Did they think their reputation would be harmed?  Well now it is for sure. 

Tears for Amber DuBois

They found her remains today.  My heart hurts for her family.  That scumbag that killed Chelsea King probably did this too.  Its not a coincidence that they intensified their search efforts after Chelea's rape/murder (see below).  Look at this girl.  Her skeletal remains is all that's left for her parents to bury.  At least they have closure.  Whoever did this deserves to suffer.

Chelsea King

Jane Valez-Mitchell uses the term "The War on Women" to describe the epidemic of murders and rapes that occur in the United States.

I have tried to write about this case several times but my emotions are too raw.  This is the cleaned up version of what I am trying to say.  Rest in peace, Chelsea.  (I've seen her parents on TV, they are in such an obvious state of shock it hurts to look at them knowing sooner or later...its going to hit hard.)

This is a murder/rape that was 100% preventable.  I want justice.  I want laws to change.  I want the judge and probation officer responsible for letting a sexual predator roam the streets for prey to pay for their asinine, deathly, cowardly, stupid fucking decision.

Men Are Also Victims of Rape

Its certainly not as common, but it happens.  This article is about a murder trial that is in process. The accused also raped a male last year.  All the while he was under probation rather than behind bars where he belonged.

This is the perfect example that there is something wrong with our justice system.  The jails are full on non-violent drug offenders and this creep is running loose, able to murder and rape.

Dr. Earl Bradley Molested 103 Kids: Just Execute Him

 I'm sorry, but this guy would NOT want me on the jury that convicts him of hundreds of cases of abuse.  A Pedophile Pediatrician.  Does it get any lower?

Hanging or the electric chair may be too kind.  Maybe he needs to be be sexually tortured by someone ten times his size to see how it feels.  These were little kids - TWO YEAR OLDS.  He filmed himself.

There is no running and hiding - you will pay for this.


I JUST HEARD THAT SEVERAL PARENTS WENT TO THE AUTHORITIES AND A JUDGE DISMISSED THIS?  He needs to be disbarred immediately and forced to watch the videotapes of the abuse every day for the rest of his sorry life.

Its tragic that no one questioned this evil predator sooner.

The biggest red flag to me:  He wanted to see the kids privately.  What doctor does that with a young child?  What parent does not stay with their young child during an exam?  Is that even allowed?  I remember being in the room with my son up till he was 16 YEARS OLD!!!  I had questions about my son's health and wanted to hear it from the doctor.

Never trust ANYONE with your kids.  I am not blaming these parents!! I can't imagine how they may be blaming themselves right now and dealing with the horror of knowing or wondering that their precious child was sexually abused by this sick man.  I do hope others learn from this.

I think there needs to be a deep investigation into this case.  Why was it not stopped sooner?  Others must have known.  What about his nurses and office staff?  They should be checked out.  Did they know????

Another Myspace Rape

An Anaheim man has been arrested on suspicion of sexually assaulting a 12-year-old Santa Ana girl he met on MySpace.

Anaheim police arrested Matthew Martinez Casteneda, 33, around midnight Friday, according to a police news release.

Rest of story here:

Man accused of raping girl he met on MySpace

"Child Pageant TV Shows - A Pedophile's Heaven" by Stacy Dittrich

Ran across this article and could not agree with Stacy more.  I saw the mother of one of these pageant children on a talk show recently defending her reasons for putting her child in pageants beginning at the age of 8 MONTHS.  Yes, months!  She said it was to help her later in life not be fearful to be in front of groups and used giving a book report in Jr. High as an example.  I turned the TV channel.  I couldn't take it.

Man Arrested for 10 Year Old Rape Case after a Chase

Ignacio Piceno

I love how DNA is able to catch and convict criminals years after the fact.  This guy sounds very dangerous and will be locked up for a long time.  Story here.

Oprah Show on Child Molesters

Oprah is talking with four child molesters today.  Its hard to listen to the graphic (i.e. disgusting) descriptions of what these men did to young girls, but so important for parents of young children to hear.

The four men on the show all agreed that they looked for a certain type of victim:  one that trusted them and that would not tell on them.  They charm the victim, they "groom" them and gain their trust.

They were manipulative in seducing the girls (as young as age 5).  They started by doing simple things like back rubs, etc.  As one molester said "I primed her by listening to her, then listen ting to her with my hand on her shoulder, then cuddling and listening to her."

A lot of times the victim feels its her fault because it feels good - and they think its their fault.  They let it go on for years because its so shameful to tell anyone what's going on.

I know a woman who's mother died when she was nine.  Her father started having sex with her soon after that up until she was 16 years old.  She never told anyone until years later.

A lot of times the victims come from families where they are not well taken care of in the first place, those parents.  This makes them candidates for molesters because they are starved for attention and/or affection.  Some of the victims are angry with their parents because they feel neglected.

90% of molesters 

are family or friends of the victim

We teach our children to watch out for strangers....but WE need to be able be watching out for people that pay attention to who is paying attention to our kids!  Girls AND boys.

"Be on the alert.  You don't have to mistrust everyone, but open your eyes and look around."

The damage it causes:

Molester:  "I killed who she could have been."

So true.

You can check out the entire episode here.

And please check out this EXCELLENT RESOURCE on preventing the sexual abuse of children, Stop It Now.

One of the Top Ten Most Wanted in Orange Cournty - Captured

Thanks to DNA, Ali Achekzai, was caught all the way over in Austria on three rape charges that occurred here in Orange County. He also raped a woman over there, and undoubtedly has a long history of sexual crimes. I hope that if there are other victims, they feel safe to come forward.


Here is a link to a video on the arrest.

Mission Viejo Man Arrested for Child Molestation

Johnny Hayes

Disturbing story.  I read about it both on the OC Register and a blog called Mission Viejo Dispatch and got  information from each one:

A 39-year-old Mission Viejo resident was charged with sexually molesting his daughter’s friend during a weekend sleep-over.  The two girls were softball teammates. (MVD)

Investigators believe that Haynes, a 39-year-old man who had been volunteering at the high school for at least a year, had one of the female players over at his home last week. Haynes is alleged to have touched the girl inappropriately, said Jim Amormino, spokesman for the Orange County Sheriff's Department. (OCR)

Another victim in this, whether this guy is found guilty or not, is his daughter.  How would you like to go back to school and face your classmates and your teammates when your father has been arrested for molesting one of your friends?

Once again, we need to find a way to be sure that anyone who volunteers to work around children/teens has pure intentions.  How do we find that out?  I don't know, background checks don't always reveal the sinister motives for someone wanting to "help out the high school girl's softball team..." unless of course, they have a previous conviction.

Many Teens Sexually Exploited by Bosses

Just the other day I was talking with one of my son's female friends.  She's 19 and has held three jobs over the last three years.  She told me she had to quit two of those jobs due to sexual advances made by her bosses!  One kept trying to touch her and made sexual suggestions the other said very perverted things to her and tried to corner her several times.

I asked her why she didn't file charges, she said the first time (when she was 16) she really didn't know any better, she thought it was an isolated incident that would never happen again, quitting seemed like the easiest way to put it behind her.

In the next case she really needed the job so put up with it for awhile and then threatened the guy that her father and boyfriend both knew what he was doing (a lie) and were going to beat the crap out of him if he did it again.  Not a mature response but, again, she was a teen and didn't want a "hassle".

It's been going on for years and women (or men) that are harassed like this need to speak up.  I admit, when in my early 20's my boss hired me because of my looks *(he admitted this) and then continued to pursue me and threaten to fire me if I did not perform sexual acts - and I walked away!  I was too embarrassed to tell anyone that I was dumb enough to let this guy hire me, I felt like it was "my fault" because he thought I was "one of those girls" that would do such a thing.  (So common for someone who's been sexually abused in the past to blame themselves).

Here is an article that states this problem is widespread.  I congratulate any young women/men who are brave enough to speak out and face the public with their story:

Teens Exploited at Work

Human Trafficing Awareness

Michelle Simonsen has an excellent article on her blog on this subject.  This is happening all over the world...including right here in the United States.  A massage parlor in neiboring city was recently shut down for prostituion and it was discovered that the girls working there were victims of human trafficing.

An Especially Vulnerable Victim

Some of you know that my focus has been mostly on drug addiction (specifically heroin) and that I am chronicling my son's recovery this blog.  I follow 40 blogs that are written by other parents of addicts, addicts and people who inform others on the tragedy of our current heroin/opitate epidemic.

One of my favorite blogs on the topic is called Recovery Helpdesk.  Today there was a post about a girl (16) was raped by her drug dealer while her father sat outside in the car waiting for her.  (See link for story).

This sad story reminds me that addicts put themselves at more risk for being the victim of any type of crime there is because of their lifestyle and mindset.  A heroin addict lives for one thing:  more heroin.  You need a certain amount per day to keep yourself from getting violently ill. 

Sometimes addicts (male and female) resort to prostitution or trading sexual favors for drugs.  This teenage girl's father was outside in the car while this happened to her - clueless to that he had just dropped his daughter off to pick up some drugs. 

I share this because I know from experience there is still a stereotype from years ago of what a "heroin addict" looks like.  That stereotype needs to wiped away because in today's teen culture, heroin is commonplace.  The frightening thing is - these kids aren't afraid of it like we were.  They may hear that you can get addicted after one use, but you know what the mentality is at that age:

"It will never happen to me."

I wonder, if it were availalbe so readily in the 70's how many of my friends would have tried it, become addicted and be dead or living on the streets today.  Most of us partied on marijuana, alcohol, cocaine with an occasional "downer", "upper" or hallucinagen (LSD).  But things have changed.

Yesterdays pothead is today's heroin or Oxy addict.  The jails are loaded with them.  Nice kids, the kind you may know from your neigborhood, your church, your kid's school.  Or maybe you even have one living under your roof and have no idea, like I did.

I've learned more about drug addiction and heroin in the last year and I urge you to keep an eye on any teens you know, ages 13 and up.  Awareness is the first step in prevention.  If I knew in October 2008 what I know today, perhaps my son would not be living in a drug rehab today wondering if his best friend is going to make it or not (he's on life support after an OD on Friday night).

Its a serioius problem.  If you are a parent don't say what I did:

"It will never happen to my kid"

(sound familiar?)

Are You Dating a Sex Offender?

Last June I wrote a post titled "When Will We Stop Allowing Sex Predators to Murder Little Girls" and included photos of 8 girls that had been killed over the last several years.

It's happened again, to this precious 11 year old girl, Sarah Haley Foxwell.

And guess who did it?

Her aunt's convicted sex offender boyfriend.

Yep, I am infuriated once again.  Another woman who is responsible for young children allows her boyfriend access to them without bothering to check their background.  Her body was found on Christmas Day.

I hate to sound like an alarmist, but don't you think its better to spend two minutes online checking someone out and most likely discovering that they are NOT listed, than it is to risk the safety and well being of children in your care?  Sex offenders look for women that have children, women that seem trusting and vulnerable.  None of us should be trusting or vulnerable when it comes to protecting children.

If you start dating a new guy, you want to know all about him.  If he has something to hide - he will hide it!   Why not take two minutes to CHECK THE FRIGGING SEX OFFENDER REGISTRY!  Chances are your guy is not on it - but what if he is?????

I always do and look what I found out:

The men I met were not there, but look who was:

My son's Sunday School Teacher!  He was a convicted of

Offense Code	Description
288(a)	LEWD OR LASCIVIOUS ACTS WITH CHILD UNDER 14 YEARS
m314.1	INDECENT EXPOSURE

Sex offenders are let out of jail to run free and do whatever they want.  Because of a lack of probation/parole officers they are not checked on frequently (maybe a few times per year at most) and therefore can get away with MURDER.

Since nothing in our justice system is going to change any time soon (hopefully I am wrong about that) then as parents or concerned citizens we need to do what we can do to keep children and women safe.

I ask you this:  Have you checked your neighborhood?  Your city?  Do you know if the guy that lives two doors down with the pretty wife and cute little boys is a convicted rapist that got out cause it was his "first conviction"?  If not...you need to look!

Most men are GOOD people, but its important to weed out the one's who aren't.

Female sex offenders are rare, but they are out there too, 

found one of those in my town also.