Swim School Instructor Suspected of Raping Teenage Student

Ok, just hours ago I posted the below story about the man who raped his friends two year old at Sea World when he had ten minutes alone wit her.

Now I open my local paper to read this story.  It confirms what I said, you can't really trust anyone, even around your teens.  This man is the owner of a swim school.

Does anyone out there have any ideas on how we can trust ANYONE near our children?  I think the only answer it to never allow a child to be alone with an adult....ever.

Todd Sousa

Todd Sousa, 36, was arrested Thursday at J. Serra Catholic High School, where he was coaching.

According to reports Sousa, founder and executive director of Swim Venture, admitted to having sex with the young girl during police questioning.

Officials believe there could be more victims.

"He certainly violated a position of trust," Amormino said. 

"These parents trust this man with their young children."

you can read the rest of the story here.

Cop Rapes Woman

This entire article was taken directly from True Crime Report.


All I can add is these two are getting paid while on administrative leave while so many of us struggle to find jobs.   Hopefully the trial will find them GUILTY because they are!  He ADMITS it!

​Kenneth Moreno
Apparently Kenneth Moreno figured his victim's privates were self-serve and helped himself. He even upheld the protect part of the cop charter by wearing a condom, as he screwed the mostly unconscious New York woman in December 2008 while his partner, Franklin Mata, waited in the living room. 

Moreno and Mata first encountered the very inebriated fashion executive after she threw up in a cab her friends had called for her. She was leaving the Park Slope club Southpaw, and the cabbie called 911 saying his passenger needed help getting into her apartment. Mata and Moreno responded to the call at 1 a.m. and helped the woman into her bathroom where she continued to vomit. The 43-year old Moreno and his 28-year old partner promised to check back in on her. 

Franklin Mata

​They returned an hour later, when they were let in by another resident after claiming to investigate a noise complaint. They'd been there about 15 minutes when they were forced to leave to handle a traffic accident. After taking care of the accident one of them allegedly called 911 from a pay phone near the accident saying a homeless man was lurking near the woman's Brooklyn apartment, giving them a pretext to return to her apartment. They arrived at 3 a.m. according to closed-circuit video from a nearby bar. Having noticed the cameras this final visit, they would try to hide their faces on their way out. (Shame can do that to you.)

While inside Moreno moved the woman from the bathroom floor to her bedroom and undressed her. He had sex with the woman while she was passed out on her stomach. That morning the victim complained to friends the cops had raped her and was taken to the hospital. The District Attorney's office became involved and put a wire on the woman. She confronted the officer that day, and got him to admit to his transgression. 

After initially denying raping her, Moreno admits, " "It wasn't done intentionally. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just got caught up." He tells her he wore a condom, and because he puts the men in mensch, threw her a bone (instead of jamming it in her). "If you stop drinking, I'll be your boyfriend," he offered. "I'm not a bad man. I'm a good friend to have." Yeah, that's exactly what a rape victim's looking for -- a commitment from her assailant. That's as welcome as Mel Gibson at temple. 

Moreno and Mata go on trial next week for rape, burglary and official misconduct. If convicted, Moreno could be imprisoned for up to 25 years. The two have been idled on paid administrative leave the last two years, collecting over a quarter of a million dollars (Moreno $150,000 and Mata $100,000). Good work if you can get it. I suppose it wouldn't be fair to ask for the money back if they're found guilty...

Kobe Bryant Makes me Sick

I hate basketball season because I have to see the arrogant, smug face of Kobe Bryant plastered all over the media.  He's running around a court hanging of the hoops making millions when he should be in jail serving his term for rape.

Many people will disagree with me on this...obviously, since he's seen as some sort of god by Laker's fans.  But I know the truth and so does Kobe. He knows he got away with it, he also knows what happened behind the scenes in the civil case that he LOST.

One of my closest friends knows the victim and her family.  He knows what kind of girl she was, a typical 19 year old.  And typical 19 year olds have sex with boys/men, and a typical 19 year old would have a hard time turning down a young handsome rich, famous, celebrity.

What started out mutually did not end that way.  When he forced her, with his hands around her neck to bend over a chair so he could have sex with her in that position, she said NO!  STOP!  But not only did he not stop, when he was almost done he forced her to turn around so he could ejaculate in her face.   THAT is called RAPE - forcing yourself on someone who doesn't want you, not to mention degradation.

There was physical evidence against Kobe, including her blood on his shirt and vaginal trauma, but as is typical in many rape cases, they put the victim on trial and tried to make her look bad, like she agreed to it.

And because this poor girl refused to take the stand, they dropped the case.  Reading some of what this young lady would have had to say IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE WORLD was so degrading and humiliating, of course she did not want to testify and have everyone in her life, plus everyone watching the trial, hear what she endured.

He got away with it.  He continues his life of fame and fortune bouncing his little balls around on the court.....while her memory of that night will never leave her.  She will never stop being "the girl who accused Kobe of rape".

Well, I know she was telling the truth and I hope that someday, somehow Kobe has to pay for it.  I can think of an appropriate punishment but I will keep that thought to myself.

Teen Girl Raped at Pool, Left to Drown

At least that's how I read this story!  The two brothers that raped this girl should also be held responsible for leaving her unconscious in a pool.  She is lucky someone saw her and pulled her out in time.

Please young ladies - do not get so drunk or so high that you allow yourselves to be 100% vulnerable.  Do not go drinking or drugging alone with males, even if you think they are "friends".

Here is the full story.

This happened in Huntington Beach not far from where I work.  It happened in the MORNING in daylight.  I guess its a blessing in disguise that she doesn't even remember the sexual assault....ugh.

Kyle Nachreiner - Is This Guy Serious?

A few weeks ago I wrote about Kyle's pity party that he's throwing.  Remember good old Kyle?  He was one of the three men convicted of gang raping an unconscious girl on a pool table and video taping it as evidence to be used against him.  Not the brightest guys.

Kyle doesn't like being a registered sex offender, its cramping his style and making it difficult to get dates.  Poor Kylie - he wants to meet a nice girl that wants to date a rapist, but no such woman exists.  

Thanks to David Whiting of the OC Register we now have an interview with the victim of this crime.  ("Jane Doe" if you ever read this, thank you for speaking out.  I think of you often.)

You can read it for yourself here.

I'll just leave you with one quote from this scum, his attitude it says it all.  Absolutely no remorse.

Wearing mirrored sunglasses, Nachreiner whined he couldn't go swimming because he has to wear a GPSdevice. As for being a registered sex offender, he said, "It's emasculating."

This is Ridiculous

This is the kind of thing that raises my blood pressure.  Jury acquits accused rapist based on her tight jeans.  They said that there is no way he could have got her pants off without her help.  Its not the first time a rapist has walked away from his crime using the "skinny jeans defense".  Its obviously bullshit.  Its another case of a woman being blamed for her own rape, for "asking for it" or agreeing to it.  Why would she report it as a crime and go through the humiliation and hassle is it was consensual?  Most likely she wouldn't.  I am not saying that there has never been a woman who falsely accused a man - but its the exception NOT the rule.

Investigation Reveals that Rape is "Easy to Get Away With" and "Not Taken Seriously by Authorities"

Here is an eyeopening report.  I wish I could say it surprises me but it only confirms what I have been saying here all along.  The entire article is good and there some excellent links/videos also.  I feel like that voice crying out in the wilderness - no one hears me, and if they do they don't seem to care.  I am gearing up to do SOMETHING more than sit here and write about it.  Not sure what but I feel called to make a difference.  RAPE is not OKAY.

CBS NewsNearly 90,000 women reported they were raped in the United States last year. It's estimated another 75,000 rapes went unreported. But while rape convictions are up - a five month CBS News investigation raises questions about just how many rapists are actually being brought to justice.

Rape in this country is surprisingly easy to get away with. The arrest rate last year was just 25 percent - a fraction of the rate for murder - 79 percent, and aggravated assault - 51 percent.

"When we have talked to victims, they very much so doubt that it was worth it for them to go to the police," said Sarah Tofte, US Program Researcher for Human Rights Watch. "They're incredibly disillusioned with the criminal justice system, and that sends a terrible message."

Excellent article from Maylasia

I ran across this article and nodded my head in agreement at every word.  Its very sad to know that the same issues plague rape victims internationally.

Please check out the article here:  Myths about rape and rape survivors.

In addition to the reasons she states in the article (see below in pink for the most important part of the article), I have a few of my own to add.

Many victims, especially younger ones, somehow take on blame for the rape.  As crazy at that sounds, its not uncommon for a girl to think "what did I do to make him rape me?"  This happens often in date or aquaintence rape.  Of course this is completely wrong thinking, but a traumatized young woman is not necessarily able to form rational thoughts and has probably been exposed to those exact accusations in some form or another (movie, book, lame commentators on talk shows).

All my life I have heard this type of sexist, misconstrued reasoning.  Its irresponsible and dangerous.  I can't comprehend how anyone can think that way, but apparently there are still a lot of  ignorant, unsympathetic, cruel-minded people that have a negative view of women in general.  Here is a prime example:  Bill O'Reilly.

First of all, the notion that a woman dressed in sexy clothes "asks for it" is ludicrous because rape has nothing to do with sex - its about control and violence and power.  When a woman says no, I don't care if she's a prostitute or a nun, she has a right to say NO, and if the man violates that right a crime has been committed.  That's the LAW.

Unfortunately for women everywhere,  the law is often not held up, an unfair trial finds the victim at fault instead of the attacker** because so many people still don't understand rape and sexual assault.  Often in court the victim is made to feel completely humiliated and disgraced.  The defense attorney will bring up things that have nothing to do with the crime committed and/or make her re-live the rape in horrifying detail in front of a room full of people (often including her family and friends and reporters).  NO WONDER SO MANY WOMEN WANT TO KEEP QUIET!

Some people still believe that a woman who dresses provocatively or puts herself in dangerous situations  deserves what's coming to her or is "asking for it".  Its hard to believe anyone would think that, you might be shocked by the number of people with that mindset. 

This is what I'd like to say to Bill O'Reilly about the remarks he made about a woman who was RAPED and MURDERED:

How would you feel if that woman were your daughter, sister, wife, mother, girlfriend?  How would you like that, Bill? 

There are many reasons why a woman chooses to delay reporting, including being incapacitated by the ordeal and not wanting to recount the trauma to medical officers, the police, etc, the fear of retribution by the perpetrator, the stigma of being a rape victim, the loss of privacy, and many more. The delay in reporting does not mean that a rape did not occur.
However, courts often infer the latter, as in this particular case as the judge’s statement would indicate.
In fact, the survivor had cited fear of tarnishing her family’s reputation as a reason for not reporting, which the judge found “unacceptable”.
Second, the judge stated that the lack of bruising or scratches on her body further damaged her credibility. Again, it is a myth that all rape victims must suffer from external injuries. In reality, the circumstances of rape are incredibly varied. Rapists can scare survivors into compliance through use of weapons or threats, or survivors have been so terrified as to completely freeze during the rape which would result in lack of visible injuries. In any case, the length of time between the rape and the reporting often results in these injuries healing.

**One of the most horrific cases I am aware of occurred here in my area.  Its known as "The Haidl Case" because the name of the main defendant was Greg Haidl.  His daddy just happened to be a big shot official in our local government.  Greg and his buddies gang raped an unconscious girl on a pool table.  The details are hard to talk about but they can be found on-line or in another post  on my blog if you want to be disgusted and appalled.

Here's the thing:  the first jury was unable to come to a verdict!  HELLO!?  They assumed the unconscious girl was having a great time being brutally attacked because she had previously had consensual sex with one of them and was bragging that she someday wanted to be a porn star.  So that made it okay for them to stick all sorts of foreign objects inside her body as she lay unconscious?  That's the conclusion the jury came to.  EVEN THOUGH the entire incident was FILMED and the jury was shown the recording!

THANKFULLY there was some sort of mistrial and upon the second trial they were found GUILTY.  But guess what?  Greg has already been let out and has already committed other sexual crimes.

UPDATE:  THEY ARE ASKING TO HAVE THE LABEL "SEX OFFENDER" LIFTED FROM THEIR RECORDS??????   If they allow that I am going to have a fit.  Gee, Greg, you should have thought about that while you were sticking a pool cue and lit cigarettes and Snapple bottles inside that girl.....FYI Greg and friends, most young men do not behave this way.  You are a convicted sex offender and the women out there deserve to be warned about you. 

I will be following this closely to see what the verdict is.  I will be protesting if they drop the label.  They already let these scumbags out of jail early for good behavior so who knows what they are doing since they obviously think they are ABOVE the law and ENTITLED to special treatment that your average sex offender does not get (unless his daddy is also a rich and powerful political type).

I am Strong but Fragile - What Rape Does to Your Life

My entire life has been full of tragedies and sadness.  I am not saying that for pity, PLEASE don't ever feel sorry for me, that would make me a victim again and it took years to get over.

This post is to try and explain how feeling unsafe as a child, being molested and raped and raped again as a teen, can cause a young woman's life to take a turn towards ugliness and sorrow.  It presents three paths:

- the path to hating men and sex
- the path to being strong and overcoming
- the path to believing that sex = love and becoming a slut promiscuous and looking for love through sex, never trusting men, always feeling used, never experiencing true intimacy


I walked down the third path until my late 20's when I chose to end that cycle and become strong.  Then at age 30 I accidentally got pregnant, and although I had had multiple abortions in my youth, this time it was never a question.  I was going to be the best damn mother in the world.

I didn't date for 11 years.  Met a guy, he hurt me and I fell right back into path number three, minus the sexual promiscuity.  I didn't think I would EVER be able to trust a man.  It took years to get to a place that I could open my heart and accept true love.  Then I was hurt again. 

So when people make light of sexual abuse and rape, I get furious.  Some of us are scarred for life by the events of our past, that does not make us weak, it makes us human.  Humans naturally do whatever they can to protect themselves, to cope.

So when you are talking to a woman who appears to be strong and handling her past sexual abuse/rape well, know that if she is, she's rare.  Inside she probably hurts to this very day.  She may wonder if she will ever be "normal" and experience relationships with men that are healthy.  She may find comfort reaching out to others, she may be in denial, she may just continue to look for true love.  I still believe it exists, I just don't know if it exists for me or not.

Would You Feel Safe Sending Your Daughter to College?

Me as a smiling, clueless young woman who would soon face the horrors of a rape that could have been prevented

IF I had followed my own advice that I give you here.

So last week a young woman is murdered at Yale University, now there is a story about an 18 year old college student being tied up in a men's restroom stall and gang raped by five guys.    Stop and think about that for a minute if you can stomach it, personally I can't.

While all the experts spend years doing studies on WHY this happens and analyze the hell out of it, I will share my thoughts and words of wisdom, its simple, and it could save your life:

FEMALES:  DO NOT GO ANYWHERE ALONE

No, its not fair that we are the more vulnerable sex.  No its not fair that we can be a black belt in Karate and still be overpowered.  Its not fair that we have to be inconvenienced by finding someone to walk us to our car, our dorm room or our home.  Its not fair that we can't go out alone at night and be safe.  Its just not fair at all.

But life has never been fair.  You can argue against your rights as a female, or you can be wise and careful and guard your life by not allowing yourself to be vulnerable to an attack.  Of course, even that is not enough - Annie Le was at work when she was murdered!  The girl that was gang raped followed a guy into a dormitory because he took her cell phone from her.  

I know people will have issues with what I am saying here, the main objection being "why should I, as a woman, have to inconvenience my life when men don't have to worry about their safety as much?  Its sexist!  Its wrong!"

Yes, it is.  But its also a fact of life that many more women then men are victims of random violent crimes.  Men should be careful too.  My boyfriend was attacked and beaten years ago when he was walking home late at night and jumped by several other guys.   In my opinion, this is no time to stand up for our rights as women or be politically correct.  Its time to look at statistics, read the news and see that there is an ongoing epidemic of women being raped and murdered, often by strangers.

I prefer to keep my own story private, but its times like this that I see the value in talking about it.

BOTH times I was raped, I had left myself in a vulnerable position.  If it were today I would think twice before agreeing to be in a home alone (as a 14 year old) with two men in their 20's.  If it were today I would not willingly follow a total stranger I'd just met in a bar out to his car to "smoke a joint".

In incident one I was repeatedly and violently raped for hours by the two men that I "knew" as they laughed and laughed (they were high on something, who knows what) Obviously I did not "know" them well.  I should have left with my friends when they left.

In the second incident I was abducted (no door handle on the passenger side of his van)  driven away, beaten and raped, and then dumped in the street to find my own way back to the bar.

Ladies, especially young ones who think you are safe where you live - PLEASE be careful.  Please don't be embarrassed to travel in groups, there truly is safety in numbers.  Please do NOT go anywhere with a guy you don't know, even if its just to the parking lot when your friends are inside the bar...it could save your life.

330 Years Sounds Fair to Me

Jamie Martinez

From the OC Register (highlights mine)

BY LARRY WELBORN

The Orange County Register

SANTA ANA A Buena Park man was sentenced to 330 years to life in prison today for sexually assaulting four girls, ages 5 to 11.

Jaime Martinez, 37, pleaded guilty before Superior Court Judge James A. Stotler in July as his trial was under way on 32 felony counts – including rape – involving young girls in his family.

One of the victims reported the abuse in December 2006 when she was 9, according to a news release from the Orange County District Attorney's Office. The girl said she had been sexually abused her since she was 5, including in the restroom of her elementary school.

The girl told police that Martinez also hit her and showed her a gun, saying he would hurt her and others in the family if she told anyone about the abuse, prosecutors said.

Buena Park police investigated and identified three other girls, ages 6, 9 and 11, who were also being molested.

The "Not Rape" Epidemic

This article is long, its graphic in places and very disturbing, but its important.

Important Review of "Observe and Report"

Holly has this on her blog today, I think its deplorable that anyone would find this entertaining or "okay".

But, that's the way our society is these days.

And we wonder why women don't report date rape....

Trigger Alert for New Movie

Marcella over at Abyss2Hope has a post today about a new movie that's out. Read her post, its important.

All I have to add is that for many people scenes in movies (and in books) can trigger a memory of a rape (or any other trauma) and the results can be devastating.

For me personally, I still feel sick, angry and humiliated whenever I see a rape scene in a movie or watch a TV show that has it as a theme (I would torture myself watching CSI SVU for some reason, thinking maybe it would make me immune to those feelings - it didn't).

So beware of the new movie "Observe and Report" , read Marcella's post and stand up against rape - date rape, "drunk rape" whatever you call it, its rape, its wrong, it happens too often and is taken too lightly.

These guys deserve NO SYMPATHY

Greg Haidl Rape Case

this case makes me ill not only because of what these guys did, but the publics reaction to it. Its the classic case of the victim being seen as "asking for it" or "deserving it".

A recap: Three teenage guys were partying with a girl. I believe one of them had had sex with her previously and she was bragging about how she wanted to be a porn star. At one point she passed out and they put her on the pool table and proceeded to rape her and also inserted objects in both her vagina and rectum including a pool cue, Snapple bottle, juice can, and even a lit cigarette. They videotaped the entire thing. That's right - its on tape so there was NO DENYING THAT IT HAPPENED.

Yet, this case had to be tried twice because the first jury FOUND THEM INNOCENT. They totally judged the girl in this case as being a slut and therefore she deserved what she had coming. I'd love to see their reaction if that was one of their daughters on the video tape. The victims morals were on trial rather than the reactions of these sadistic young men who LAUGHED DURIING THE TRIAL and BRAGGED ABOUT IT. Then he committed a similar crime less than two years later.

Here's an article on it from one of our local papers. (did I mention his dad is an assistant sheriff for our county. Here and they are very wealthy. Funny thing - the defense attorney they hired also has a past sex conviction for having sex with a minor....)

For the rest of their lives one "false move" and they will be back in jail. They are now registered sex offenders.

Thank You Anonymous

Someone left a comment here that is so important I am making a post out of it. This is such a typical scenario!

I hope I did not give the impression that most child molesters/rapists are pedophiles. In fact the opposite is true. As I pointed out earlier, a true pedophile is rare. Its the people in your neighborhood that look just like us that need to be watched. This is such a sad story, my heart breaks for this family.

Again, thank you Anonymous for sharing this:


I'm interested in this topic because my daughter was a victim of CSA. The perp was one of our best friends, someone with a wife and daughter the same age as ours, pillar of the community, "Christian", conservative, neighborhood watch, yada, yada, yada. His daughter and mine had been good friends since kindergarten. We babysat for each other; we spent Christmases together. Before I found out what he'd done, if I'd wanted to form a vigilante he would have been one of the first guys on the posse.

So I think it's important to emphasize that most molesting of children is not done by true pedophiles (who are fairly rare) but by your neighbour, your uncle, grandpa, the nice Christian youth pastor, the coach your kid adores, etc. I think these people do have a faulty circuit that makes it possible for them to justify having kids as sexual partners, but they do not see themselves as pedophiles, nor are children typically their first choice, unless it becomes a habit. They go after kids because it is easy. Quite simply they feel like having sex or simply abusing or humiliating someone and they know that the chances of it coming back to bite them are much less likely than if they choose an adult. They find an opportunity and they take advantage of it. In our case my husband was in the hospital with cancer so our attention was directed elsewhere when the abuse began. It continued for about a year. I thought my daughter's depression and anxiety was about her dad's cancer and school.

I'm not sure where the figure of 95% are family members comes from. The figure I have often seen is that 90% of the perpetrators are known to the victim (this includes teen date rape situations) and 60% are family members, the most common family abuser being a stepfather or "boyfriend" of the mother. But I know the statistics on child abuse vary so hugely as to make it almost impossible to say something meaningful at times. For example, sex offender activists are fond of saying that there is only a 5% or less recidivism rate based on studies conducted by the US justice department. However these were short term studies that might only follow the perp for a year after release. Corrections Canada did a much longer term study and found an overall recividism rate of 30% for all sex offenders and over 70% for pedophiles. Of course, this only describes those that are caught - presumably the dumbest ones.

The other figure that I've read consistently is that 1/4 girls and 1/7 boys will be sexually assaulted or abused before they are 18, for girls approximately 1/2 that number by the time they are 11. I've confirmed this with my own independent and unscientific poll of people close enough to me that I told them about my daughter's abuse. 1/4 of them were also sexually assaulted or abused as children. I had known some of them all my life (2 were siblings) and I hadn't know that about them - so strong was their shame that kept it a secret. I am not in some demographic anomaly. I'm middle-class educated white (not that it matters) Canadian, I live in a quiet suburban "safe" neighbourhood. I come from a loving intact family. My family and most of my friends are in the same demographic. I say this because some people think that these things only happen in poor, drug-addled, ethnic neighbourhoods - those are just the people getting caught.

The best way to keep your kids safe is to never let them be alone with a male (95% of molesters are male) But that's not possible, so the second best thing you can do is this:
-tell your kids about sexual abuse and tell them that it is important to tell you if anyone touches them or even tries to be alone with them, if they show them pictures of naked people or try to give them alcohol - even if it is their dad or their uncle or grandpa or even you. Tell them they have to tell more than one person and keep on telling until someone does something about it. Emphasize that if this happens that it has nothing to do with them, that the adult who does this has a problem and needs help. Tell them you are going to tell all your friends and your child's friends parents, and all your relatives that you have told them this. Then do it. Tell everybody who has anything to do with your kid that you have warned them to tell you if anyone tries to touch them and that you have regular talks about it. Bring it up in conversation frequently - loudly. Child molesters are cowards and opportunists. Just like thieves will pass on cars and houses with alarms, child molesters will pass on kids when they think there is a higher likelihood they will be caught.

As a parent I was stupid. I thought child molesters were that creepy guy living in his mother's basement who drove around in a white van with a puppy in the back. I thought if I warned my kids about "stranger danger" and lived in a nice, safe neighbourhood with nice, safe law-abiding friends my kids would be safe. I was squeamish about talking too much about sexual abuse because I didn't want my kids to be afraid. I even told my daughter's abuser this over dinner once - that I downplayed talking about sex abuse with my kids because I didn't want them to distrust adults and besides I knew they were always with someone I trusted. We pretty much handed her over on a platter. Her life has been ruined and our family wounded for ever and grief-stricken watching her try to fight the inner demons that try and destroy her.

The charges against the perp were eventually dropped because my daughter was too sick to testify. Even if it had gone to court a conviction would have been very difficult - his word against hers and she being a girl who by this time had serious mental health issues. Even if he had been convicted the best result we could have hoped for was a suspended sentence and a couple of years probation. The pig still lives in his big house with his happy family just around the corner.

SAVA Class One

Here are ten random points/thoughts I came away with after my class today:

1. There is only one way to stop rape. No one in our class could figure out what it was, before I reveal the answer I'd love to hear your thoughts.

2. Victim or Survivor? I belong to a forum for women that is a wonderful, safe, gentle and loving place for women who've been raped/assulted to share their stories and support other women (and there is a section for men as well). On the site they ask us to use the word SURVIVOR rather than VICTIM.

Today in class the instructor pointed out that even though someone determined that it was impoliticly correct and un-empowering to use the word "victim", it was an important part of the healing process to acknowledge that the person raped or abused was indeed a VICTIM. The number one reason women don't discuss rape is because of shame and thinking they were partly responsible for what happened. This is not true and its one of the main things I hope to educate people about here.

3. Child and adolescent survivors are 2 -5 times more likely to be attacked again in their lifetime.

4. Rape is not about sex. It is about power and control. Even though its sexual in nature, its VIOLENCE. Sadly people call it a "sex crime" which is very misleading (way more about this later!)

5. Regardless of what it seems like on TV, being the victim of a rape and going through the court process can take years and can be as degrading to the victim as the actual crime. It is a hard crime to prove and for juries to convict on. Later I will share a local story that is the most horrific example in California State history of a victim being put on trial for a brutal, vicious gang rape.

6. We learned about the history of rape from the beginning of civilization. It was very, very disturbing. Women were treated as objects/possessions for centuries.

7. 85% of all rapes are committed by an acquaintance of the victim (in my county the stat is 97%!).

8. The most common age for a rape victim is between 16 - 24.

9. Most stranger abduction rapists look like "normal" guys and are typically married with a family.

10. Jail sentences for rape are usually very lenient.