This is Ridiculous

This is the kind of thing that raises my blood pressure.  Jury acquits accused rapist based on her tight jeans.  They said that there is no way he could have got her pants off without her help.  Its not the first time a rapist has walked away from his crime using the "skinny jeans defense".  Its obviously bullshit.  Its another case of a woman being blamed for her own rape, for "asking for it" or agreeing to it.  Why would she report it as a crime and go through the humiliation and hassle is it was consensual?  Most likely she wouldn't.  I am not saying that there has never been a woman who falsely accused a man - but its the exception NOT the rule.

Drawing the Line Between "Victim" and "Offender"

People often tell me that I am compassionate, fair and empathetic.  That I have the ability to look at situations from both sides and therefore am open minded.  Well I'd just like to go on the record of saying - that's true but I don't know if its a blessing or a curse.  I suppose a  bit of both.

I debated on whether or not to write this blog post.  I have to ask myself if I am biased because I've met the young man accused in this case.  I can honestly say that no - that has not formed my opinion, its just reminded me that every story has two sides and more importantly - that many offenders were once victims themselves.

Here is the situation:  A 16 year old boy is accused of raping a 2 year old girl.  That sounds horrific.  It sounds inhuman, sick, evil.  A few days ago it was announced that this young man, Chris, will be tried as an adult and his name and photo were on the front page of the local newspaper.

If you were to read the story you would most likely conclude that Chris needs to be locked up and never allowed around a child again.  You would think he was guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt (if you read the mother's story - which I'm sure everyone in Racine, Wisconsin has).

"Christopher (I took his last name out), 16, was charged Friday with first-degree sexual assault of a child under the age of 12. If convicted, he faces up to 60 years imprisonment, which includes time in prison or on extended supervision.

*********'s case was waived into adult court on Thursday; he had previously been charged as a juvenile. Judge Stephen Simanek, who granted the waiver request, said a primary concern for him was the five-year maximum sentence ******* would have faced as a juvenile. In the adult system, the maximum sentence is 12 times that amount."

I believe it was wrong for the paper to print his photo and this  article.  He should be protected as a juvenile, he has rights too.  Chris may be 16 but he is a very immature kid, with learning disabilities who, when I met him, appeared to be about 12 or 13, he does not seem like a teenager let alone an adult.

Also, why would he try to sexually molest this little girl?  Normal 16 year old boys don't have a desire for 2 year old girls.  NORMAL.  Chris is a victim of child molestation.  He was not born with this sick, twisted compulsion.  He is a victim too.  In almost every case of pedophilia the offender was once a victim.

I agree that we need to do all we can to protect children from these people (usually men).  I think Chris is old enough to know that what he did (if he did it) is wrong.  But should he be treated as an adult based on his crime?  Or should the court take into consideration that he is still a child himself - confused, immature and damaged.

The other side of this story is the credibility of the mother of the victim. Did she make this up to cover up for one of the many men that she's let live with her and her daughter?  Criminals, drug addicts and child molesters?!!!!  Does it matter that the mother has a history of lying and being a drama queen that constantly seeks attention?  Would it make a difference to know her original story changed three times or that she has a criminal background herself or that she sees money to be made by exploiting what happened to her daughter?

I didn't see any of that in the paper.  I know about it because I know the people involved and a close friend of mine is in the middle.  He may be forced to "take sides" and doesn't want to.  He's known Chris since the day he was born and he's related to the accusers.  How does he choose sides when he knows that the accusers are very shady characters that would use something like this to their own advantage?

Its just very sad.  Its sad for the little girl, at age two, who may or may not have been abused (rape kit was inconclusive so there is no hard evidence in this case).  I do believe Chris did something to her - I don't know what.  But why?  Because someone did something to him.

If he is guilty, I hope they do all they can to keep him away from children.  If studies and statistics are correct, there is little chance for him to be rehabilitated if he truly is a pedophile.  Its an endless cycle of abused becoming abusers.

My hope is that Chris gets a fair trial.  That he gets the treatment he needs and deserves.  I also hope that the mother is not allowed to capitalize in any way by selling her story or being paid for interviews.  I can see her jumping at an opportunity to do that.

But most of all, I hope that the little girl is okay.  I hope that someone will investigate to see if she is safe in that home.  I hope that she will not be scarred for life because of what another child did to her, acting out of his own past abuse.

Its ugly and sad from any angle.

Woman charged with lying about kidnapping, rape

I've written on this topic several times.  Each time I hear about a case in which the woman has lied about being raped, I feel its a step backwards for all women (and men, and children) who have endured this horrifying crime.

Whatever her reasons were, she was wrong.  I am glad she's been charged, the question is:  will they give her a strong enough sentence?  My guess is community service or parole.  I hope its much more than that.  I hope they make an example of her to remind others that it is NOT okay to make up stories or falsely accuse someone of a serious crime.

Rape is the hardest of crimes to report.  We all know why.  The victim becomes a victim twice - once when the attack occurs then again when she has to go through "the process".  She will file a report then be driven to a hospital (there is only one in Orange County that is set up with rape kits, St. Joseph's in Orange).  At that time she will be examined in every way imaginable, questioned by a police officer*, and have to relive the incident in detail.

If the rapist is caught and she has to go to trial, the defense will attack her character.  As I've also said before - it doesn't matter if you are a nun or a prostitute, rape is when a woman is forced to have sex against her will and it a CRIME.  The victim's background should have NOTHING to do with it, but it does.

Not only is her character attacked, but she is forced again to relive the humiliation and trauma of the event, this time in a room full of people that may include family and friends.  It takes a very brave woman to do that.

But there are brave and determined women out there that are motivated by catching the rapist before he strikes again AND making him pay for his crime.  I applaud them, they are my heroes.

Here is a book, true story, that has the perfect example of this:

Full article here in the OCR

**above when I said a police officer will question the victim, it is most often a male.  Surprisingly, from what I've learned through my training, the majority of male officers are more sympathetic toward rape victims than female officers.  I don't know what to make of that but its what I've heard.

This Girl Just Slapped all True Rape Victims Across the Face

Yesterday the media shared a story about five guys who gang raped a girl.  Then she says, "Um, I lied, it was consensual".  Does she have any idea how this affects women who have really been raped?  I am too pissed off to even go there right now...there is something wrong with this young woman and she needs to be evaluated and possibly punished.

Also SHAME ON THE POLICE DEPT. involved in this case - how dare them parade the accused men around on the media with no concrete evidence!  This is wrong for two reasons:

1) Obviously its had a negative affect on these guys and made them victims

2) IF this was a real rape they may not have followed protocol and the case could have been thrown out


I may rant on this more later, but for now, I just had to get this out.