A young boy that never recovered from rape....

For some reason, sexual abuse against males of any age is not talked about as openly as abuse against female victims.  Last year Oprah did a phenomenal show on the topic where hundreds of men showed up in her audience with photos of themselves at the age they were raped or molested, many shared how it affected their lives.  Its the kind of thing that, unfortunately, we need to teach our children about and watch for constantly (how sad is that?)

Earlier this year Bill Zeller (above) ended his own life.  He shared why in this agonizing suicide letter.  He was never able to move beyond what he refers to as "the darkness" (being raped starting at age 7).

Reading his letter broke my heart.  How many others are out there carrying their secrets and suffering in silence?  How many believe death is the only option to escape the pain?  How many want a healthy loving relationship and children but are unable to fulfill that dream due to their inner demons?  All because evil sick people roam free, seeking out their prey: children.

Children who are afraid to tell anyone continue to live abused and are ripped apart physically and emotionally.  It has to end!!!!  But how?  How can we stop it when we don't even know half the time that its happening?

This reminds me of one of the most chilling things I ever heard.  It was during a segment on child sexual abuse in the SAVA* Training I received.  Two police officers came to speak with us.  They drilled home the point that a HUGE PERCENTAGE of sexual abuse to children was perpetrated by people that were close to them.

Then the played it....a recording they did in a sting operation when a young boy finally told his mother that on his weekends at dad's house, bad things were happening.  The officers wanted to nail this dude so they decided that getting a taped confession was the way to go.  They coached the little boy and then had him call his dad.

I heard him telling his dad he didn't want to come to his house anymore, (this is the abbreviated version of their conversation) and when the dad asked why the little boy said "because I don't want you putting your penis inside me anymore".  I think everyone in the class had a strong reaction to hearing that - one woman cried, many gasped.  I felt like throwing up and then beating the crap out of this monster.  Anyhow - the dad admitted on the phone that he had indeed been raping his own young son.  That little boy was brave and did the right thing, he had to turn against his dad, (who called him Buddy and seemed like a normal dad on the surface) and send him to jail.  Most little kids are threatened or somehow convinced that what they are doing is a special secret in order for them not to tell anyone.

Its enough to make you want castration to be the first thing we do to sexual deviants rather than throw an ankle bracelet on them and hope for the best.  Sigh.  Things have to change.

Teach your children, protect them, watch for any signs that something is wrong, because there very well could be.

*Sexual Assault Victim Advocate

A Very Special Poem

This was written by one of my blog readers, she's given me permission to report it here.  The timing is just happens to fit with something I am going to be writing about in the near future.  Thank you, Persephone, for sharing this powerful and personal poem with all of us.

A Little Girl

Locked inside in a cold, dark, empty room away from the world to see
Cowers a little girl in a corner struggling to be free...

She is a child, a little girl of maybe seven or eight
Scarred from so many years of abuse and hate...

The unspeakable acts of violence she knows all too well
And knows too that she mustn't never ever tell...

For who would she tell and why would they care
She is so frightened she just reaches for her bear...

For what if she tells someone about it all and they did believe
Would that make it better or should she just continue to deceive...

They said it was her fault that she was to blame
She knows she is bad so why shouldn't others feel the same...

Why would anyone bother with her in any way
When she cannot even begin to know what to say...

The tears falling down her cheeks now like the rain
Her hurt showing now showing all the pain...

She sees her past now like a movie slide show
And she remembers each and every blow...

She sees it all now every single one as they had their turn
Her fear growing now her stomach even beginning to churn...

She watches each and every incident close but from afar
She doesn't have to look to find the scar...

The pain becoming stronger now filling every pore
It shakes her shakes her right down to her core...

She feels every violation, feels every pain, hears every word said
And deep down inside she wishes she was dead...

She knows a way to end the hurt, pain and tears
But this is the thing she probably most fears...

The razor laying next to her calling for her to come
Knowing that in its use there is release at least some...

She grabs it now its edges glinting like the sun
And she makes the long, deep cuts the blood beginning to run...

She's so ashamed now the deed is done
Knowing that yet again they won...

She's thinking now of what she has heard people say
That she deserved it in each and every way...

She stays in the corner now away from the light
Knowing that she doesn't have the strength to fight...

Sad, cold, alone, afraid, and crying
She feels like in some ways she is dying...

You might ask how do you know her so well
How is it that you have all this to tell...

Well I will tell you why I know
Is it not plain or does it not show...

I know that little girl very well you see
I know because that little girl lives inside of me.....

My little girl, Kayla

Swiss social worker admits to 114 sexual assaults on the disabled

This is particularly disturbing. My question is how come no one noticed in all these years?

February 01, 2011|By the CNN Wire Staff

A social worker in Switzerland has confessed to sexually assaulting more than 100 disabled children and adults, authorities said Tuesday.

The 54-year-old man, who was not identified, said the assaults took place over a 28-year span in nine institutions where he worked as a therapist.

The rest of the article can be found here:  CNN

Convicted Sex Offender Set Free By Stupid Judge

This one really gets me irate! This guy is dangerous and needs to be kept locked up, yet he "found Jesus" in prison so the judge is letting him out??!!??!!??!! Unbelievable.

I took the following from True Crime:

Joel Large doesn't seem deserving of a pass. In 2008, a juvenile told Los Lunas, New Mexico police that the 44-year-old creep was stalking her in a sexual manner. A search of his house revealed photos and videos of children engaging in sex with each other and adults...

Detectives also found meth, syringes and baggies used for packaging meth for sale. Large further confessed that he'd been supplying kids with booze and cigs. 

He would later plead no contest to sexual exploitation of children, drug trafficking and three counts of contributing to the delinquency to a minor. In July, Judge William Sanchez sentenced him to 12 years in prison. 

At the time, Large had already done two years in jail while he awaited sentencing. Other inmates hadn't treated him so well. He'd been raped and beaten by his fellow cons. According to his brother, the whole ordeal caused him to find Jesus. 

So Large's lawyer appealed the sentence, asking Judge Sanchez to reconsider. Large claimed he'd been a meth addict since 1984, and that it impaired his decisions. He also claimed he didn't know downloading child porn was illegal. Finally, he said he'd found Jesus while in the slam, and that he was now ready to devote his life to Christ.

We're not sure if Judge Sanchez is a religion nut, a liberal do-gooder, or maybe just the most naive judge in the Western Hemisphere. But he apparently bought Large's plea. 

On Tuesday, he set Large free after serving just five months of his original sentence. Though Large will still be on probation for five years and have to register as a sex offender, he's now free to roam the streets of Los Lunas. That can't be good for the little girls in town -- or the judge's reelection odds.

Drawing the Line Between "Victim" and "Offender"

People often tell me that I am compassionate, fair and empathetic.  That I have the ability to look at situations from both sides and therefore am open minded.  Well I'd just like to go on the record of saying - that's true but I don't know if its a blessing or a curse.  I suppose a  bit of both.

I debated on whether or not to write this blog post.  I have to ask myself if I am biased because I've met the young man accused in this case.  I can honestly say that no - that has not formed my opinion, its just reminded me that every story has two sides and more importantly - that many offenders were once victims themselves.

Here is the situation:  A 16 year old boy is accused of raping a 2 year old girl.  That sounds horrific.  It sounds inhuman, sick, evil.  A few days ago it was announced that this young man, Chris, will be tried as an adult and his name and photo were on the front page of the local newspaper.

If you were to read the story you would most likely conclude that Chris needs to be locked up and never allowed around a child again.  You would think he was guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt (if you read the mother's story - which I'm sure everyone in Racine, Wisconsin has).

"Christopher (I took his last name out), 16, was charged Friday with first-degree sexual assault of a child under the age of 12. If convicted, he faces up to 60 years imprisonment, which includes time in prison or on extended supervision.

*********'s case was waived into adult court on Thursday; he had previously been charged as a juvenile. Judge Stephen Simanek, who granted the waiver request, said a primary concern for him was the five-year maximum sentence ******* would have faced as a juvenile. In the adult system, the maximum sentence is 12 times that amount."

I believe it was wrong for the paper to print his photo and this  article.  He should be protected as a juvenile, he has rights too.  Chris may be 16 but he is a very immature kid, with learning disabilities who, when I met him, appeared to be about 12 or 13, he does not seem like a teenager let alone an adult.

Also, why would he try to sexually molest this little girl?  Normal 16 year old boys don't have a desire for 2 year old girls.  NORMAL.  Chris is a victim of child molestation.  He was not born with this sick, twisted compulsion.  He is a victim too.  In almost every case of pedophilia the offender was once a victim.

I agree that we need to do all we can to protect children from these people (usually men).  I think Chris is old enough to know that what he did (if he did it) is wrong.  But should he be treated as an adult based on his crime?  Or should the court take into consideration that he is still a child himself - confused, immature and damaged.

The other side of this story is the credibility of the mother of the victim. Did she make this up to cover up for one of the many men that she's let live with her and her daughter?  Criminals, drug addicts and child molesters?!!!!  Does it matter that the mother has a history of lying and being a drama queen that constantly seeks attention?  Would it make a difference to know her original story changed three times or that she has a criminal background herself or that she sees money to be made by exploiting what happened to her daughter?

I didn't see any of that in the paper.  I know about it because I know the people involved and a close friend of mine is in the middle.  He may be forced to "take sides" and doesn't want to.  He's known Chris since the day he was born and he's related to the accusers.  How does he choose sides when he knows that the accusers are very shady characters that would use something like this to their own advantage?

Its just very sad.  Its sad for the little girl, at age two, who may or may not have been abused (rape kit was inconclusive so there is no hard evidence in this case).  I do believe Chris did something to her - I don't know what.  But why?  Because someone did something to him.

If he is guilty, I hope they do all they can to keep him away from children.  If studies and statistics are correct, there is little chance for him to be rehabilitated if he truly is a pedophile.  Its an endless cycle of abused becoming abusers.

My hope is that Chris gets a fair trial.  That he gets the treatment he needs and deserves.  I also hope that the mother is not allowed to capitalize in any way by selling her story or being paid for interviews.  I can see her jumping at an opportunity to do that.

But most of all, I hope that the little girl is okay.  I hope that someone will investigate to see if she is safe in that home.  I hope that she will not be scarred for life because of what another child did to her, acting out of his own past abuse.

Its ugly and sad from any angle.

Dr. Earl Bradley Molested 103 Kids: Just Execute Him

 I'm sorry, but this guy would NOT want me on the jury that convicts him of hundreds of cases of abuse.  A Pedophile Pediatrician.  Does it get any lower?

Hanging or the electric chair may be too kind.  Maybe he needs to be be sexually tortured by someone ten times his size to see how it feels.  These were little kids - TWO YEAR OLDS.  He filmed himself.

There is no running and hiding - you will pay for this.


I JUST HEARD THAT SEVERAL PARENTS WENT TO THE AUTHORITIES AND A JUDGE DISMISSED THIS?  He needs to be disbarred immediately and forced to watch the videotapes of the abuse every day for the rest of his sorry life.

Its tragic that no one questioned this evil predator sooner.

The biggest red flag to me:  He wanted to see the kids privately.  What doctor does that with a young child?  What parent does not stay with their young child during an exam?  Is that even allowed?  I remember being in the room with my son up till he was 16 YEARS OLD!!!  I had questions about my son's health and wanted to hear it from the doctor.

Never trust ANYONE with your kids.  I am not blaming these parents!! I can't imagine how they may be blaming themselves right now and dealing with the horror of knowing or wondering that their precious child was sexually abused by this sick man.  I do hope others learn from this.

I think there needs to be a deep investigation into this case.  Why was it not stopped sooner?  Others must have known.  What about his nurses and office staff?  They should be checked out.  Did they know????

Oprah Show on Child Molesters

Oprah is talking with four child molesters today.  Its hard to listen to the graphic (i.e. disgusting) descriptions of what these men did to young girls, but so important for parents of young children to hear.

The four men on the show all agreed that they looked for a certain type of victim:  one that trusted them and that would not tell on them.  They charm the victim, they "groom" them and gain their trust.

They were manipulative in seducing the girls (as young as age 5).  They started by doing simple things like back rubs, etc.  As one molester said "I primed her by listening to her, then listen ting to her with my hand on her shoulder, then cuddling and listening to her."

A lot of times the victim feels its her fault because it feels good - and they think its their fault.  They let it go on for years because its so shameful to tell anyone what's going on.

I know a woman who's mother died when she was nine.  Her father started having sex with her soon after that up until she was 16 years old.  She never told anyone until years later.

A lot of times the victims come from families where they are not well taken care of in the first place, those parents.  This makes them candidates for molesters because they are starved for attention and/or affection.  Some of the victims are angry with their parents because they feel neglected.

90% of molesters 

are family or friends of the victim

We teach our children to watch out for strangers....but WE need to be able be watching out for people that pay attention to who is paying attention to our kids!  Girls AND boys.

"Be on the alert.  You don't have to mistrust everyone, but open your eyes and look around."

The damage it causes:

Molester:  "I killed who she could have been."

So true.

You can check out the entire episode here.

And please check out this EXCELLENT RESOURCE on preventing the sexual abuse of children, Stop It Now.

Lock Him Up Before His Behavior Escalates!

Tach Van Truong

 

Man Accused of Masturbation in Front of Toddler

"The behavior is so strange and deviant, it is possible there may be other victims," said Jim Amormino, spokesman for the Sheriff's Department."

Let's hope not, but there probably are :(

Polanski arrested in connection with 1970s sex charge

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!
(see update)

Read full story Here
Someone pointed out this article on Salon.com that I agree with 100%.  Its unfathomable to me that anyone is defending him and calling HIM a victim after reading in detail what he did.  I think the girl's mother who allowed this (allegedly) should have been arrested too.
Warning:  graphic sexual content.
Here is the article.

12 Year Old Girl Forced to Have Sex and Sell Drugs

Julio Louis Cortes

A  disgusting story.  I am glad he's caught.  Sometimes I wonder why I force myself to read these reports and learn of these atrocities, but I believe its better to shed light into dark corners and reveal what's really there than to ignore what's going on.  We need to protect our children.  No one - man, woman, or child, is safe these days, but mostly women and children.

Read the rest of the story here at OCR.

The "Not Rape" Epidemic

This article is long, its graphic in places and very disturbing, but its important.

ANOTHER SOCCER COACH!!!!!

David Hernandez

These cases make me madder than any other kind: when we trust our children with adults that are suppose to be helping them or teaching them in some way; teachers, coaches, clergy.
Its doubly horrifying.

Soccer coach arrested on suspicion of sex with a minor
David Hernandez, 28, allegedly had sex with an underage girl he was giving private lessons to.

Sheriff's deputy arrested on suspicion of child rape

Dale Garcia

We teach our children that the police are there to protect us. Not Always.

An Orange County Sheriff's deputy is locked up today on suspicion of raping a child under age 14, Riverside County Sheriff's and jail officials said.

Deputy Wilbert Dale Garcia, 49, was arrested about 4 p.m. Friday during a traffic stop in Murrieta, and remains locked up today.

"He was arrested following an investigation," said Riverside County Sheriff's Deputy Matt Diaz in a phone interview. "He was a 19-year veteran of law enforcement."

Garcia was held today on three offenses — one count of continual sexual abuse of a child and two counts of aggravated child sexual assault, a jailer said in a phone interview.

“The Wildomar Police Department is not releasing the protected identity of the victim in this investigation,” Diaz said in a statement. He said deputies “are reviewing evidence in this continuing investigation to determine if other victims exist.”

Rest of story here.

Pastors Have Sex with Kids in Their Youth Ministy

This makes me so sick. Every day there are stories like this. I ask again, who can we trust our children with? Answer: ?????

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. -- A Maryville church has closed it's doors indefinitely after a married couple, who are youth ministers at the church, are charged with sex crimes.

Michael Salazar, 35, is charged with three counts of sexual battery by an authority figure, and three counts of statutory rape by an authority figure.

Laura Lee Click Salazar, 35, is charged with one count of sexual battery by an authority figure, and one count of statutory rape by an authority figure.

Maryville Police Chief Tony Crisp says this investigation began on Aug. 15 when three teen girls, their parents, and their youth pastor, accused the Salazar's of sexual misconduct.

That's when officials conducted an official investigation interviewing four teenage girls who say the Salazars took part in individual sex acts beginning in September 2007.

At the church, there is a note on the door saying they're closed until further notice.

Pastor Keith Briefly says his church is very hurt by this event.

Police Chief Crisp says the case is under investigation.

Chief Crisp says there may be more victims, and he is asking for them to come forward.

"Certainly it is sickening and troubling that this is going on anywhere, and especially in our neighborhood. it's even more disturbing, right here at home, but we've done a very diligent investigation."

This Time a Karate Instructor:

Karate instructor charged with molesting 6 boys in his studio

from the Orange County, Register
California


What the hell can be done? Who can we trust? Over and over and over this happens. This is not an unfortunate incident - this is a life changing event that will scar these boys forever and possibly turn them into the kind of monster that this guy is.

This is so low....

Humanitarian Child Rapists

Who Can We Trust With Our Children?

Dead investigator had extensive child-porn collection

Hundreds of images discovered in deceased man's Aliso Viejo home. Authorities searching for more victims.

Stenger, a 41-year-old unmarried Aliso Viejo man, had extensive access to young children, teaching a "Tools for Tolerance" program for at-risk middle school students through a Neighborhood Enforcement Team and working with Little League, according to county officials. Investigators with the Orange County District Attorney's Office are looking for other potential victims who may have come in contact with Stenger.

A man convicted of sexually abusing his 4 week old son. The baby also had broken bones in all its limbs.

This man should never be allowed outside of prison walls again. I understand that most sexual abusers have been abused themselves - but what on earth creates this kind of monster?

And the mother - she's in prison for allowing it to happen.

Thankfully the baby has been adopted and hopefully this has not affected his life forever (I would think not since he's so young...but who knows what kind of fear and pain he experienced).