15 Year Old Girl Raped, Help Captive by Man She Met Online

Jeffrey Sackman

Does this look like someone a 15 year old girl would want to be involved with?  No.  That's because he spent two years posing as a 17 year old boy and finally lured her to his apartment.  

Parents:  PLEASE be aware of what your child is doing online.  I hear so many parents say that its invading their privacy to use spyware to see EVERYTHING that is going on, but its to protect them!  Until our children are 18 and/or move out of our homes, its our job to keep them safe from predators like this.

A 15-year-old Buena Park girl has been reunited with her mother after police say she ran away from home last week and was drugged and repeatedly raped by a man she met on a social networking site two years ago.

Jeffrey Thomas Sackman, 44, of the Palm Springs-area community of Cathedral City is accused of posing online as a 17-year-old Italian boy and luring the girl to his apartment in the 28200 block of Landau Boulevard, Cathedral City police Lt. Chuck Robinson said.
Rest of the story here.

A Very Special Poem

This was written by one of my blog readers, she's given me permission to report it here.  The timing is just happens to fit with something I am going to be writing about in the near future.  Thank you, Persephone, for sharing this powerful and personal poem with all of us.

A Little Girl

Locked inside in a cold, dark, empty room away from the world to see
Cowers a little girl in a corner struggling to be free...

She is a child, a little girl of maybe seven or eight
Scarred from so many years of abuse and hate...

The unspeakable acts of violence she knows all too well
And knows too that she mustn't never ever tell...

For who would she tell and why would they care
She is so frightened she just reaches for her bear...

For what if she tells someone about it all and they did believe
Would that make it better or should she just continue to deceive...

They said it was her fault that she was to blame
She knows she is bad so why shouldn't others feel the same...

Why would anyone bother with her in any way
When she cannot even begin to know what to say...

The tears falling down her cheeks now like the rain
Her hurt showing now showing all the pain...

She sees her past now like a movie slide show
And she remembers each and every blow...

She sees it all now every single one as they had their turn
Her fear growing now her stomach even beginning to churn...

She watches each and every incident close but from afar
She doesn't have to look to find the scar...

The pain becoming stronger now filling every pore
It shakes her shakes her right down to her core...

She feels every violation, feels every pain, hears every word said
And deep down inside she wishes she was dead...

She knows a way to end the hurt, pain and tears
But this is the thing she probably most fears...

The razor laying next to her calling for her to come
Knowing that in its use there is release at least some...

She grabs it now its edges glinting like the sun
And she makes the long, deep cuts the blood beginning to run...

She's so ashamed now the deed is done
Knowing that yet again they won...

She's thinking now of what she has heard people say
That she deserved it in each and every way...

She stays in the corner now away from the light
Knowing that she doesn't have the strength to fight...

Sad, cold, alone, afraid, and crying
She feels like in some ways she is dying...

You might ask how do you know her so well
How is it that you have all this to tell...

Well I will tell you why I know
Is it not plain or does it not show...

I know that little girl very well you see
I know because that little girl lives inside of me.....

My little girl, Kayla

Sexual Assault at Denver Airport, Allegedly Ignored by Employees

A woman was attacked, thrown on floor of the concourse and raped. Three employees walked past and did nothing. A security guard finally came by and called police.

The airport spokesperson insists that the airport is safe. It wasn't safe for this young woman.

Full story here.

The Psychology of Rape

This is an interesting article on the reasons behind rape and the types of men who commit rapes.

When I was in training we were taught that rape had nothing to do with sex - and everything to do with violence.  I found that to be a very profound statement, but not all inclusive.  I've always believed that some rapes were motivated by some sort of perverse sexual need.  Of course these are no more justified than any type of rape, all of it is immoral and illegal.


What I found most disturbing in the article were the statisics:

 A recent study of 1,600 juvenile sexual assault offenders found:

• Just 33 percent of these boys perceived sex as a way to demonstrate love or caring;
• 23.5 percent believed that sex was a way to establish power and control;
• 9.4 percent found sex to be a good way to dissipate anger;
• 8.4 percent believed sex to be a way to punish others.

In a study of college men, 35 percent admitted they would violently rape a woman who had rejected a prior advance if they were assured of getting away with it. Many men and women believe a woman deserved rape if she was intoxicated, led the man on, or invited him into her bedroom. In a 2003 study, men who were highly competitive and win-oriented reported more sexual aggression and held beliefs that supported rape. 

Another Example of Never Leaving Your Child With Someone You Don't Trust 100%

Michael Grzybowicz


Man raped Toddler at Sea World, Orlando

Its a very sad story made even sadder because it happens so often.  A woman, her 2 year old daughter, and her boyfriend, along with another male "friend" are at Sea World.  The mom and boyfriend go on one of the rides and leave the "friend" watching the little girl.  The man molests the little girl in the ten minutes he's alone with her and takes pictures of the incident with his cell phone.

I don't know how well the mother knew this guy, but I'm sure she felt safe leaving him to watch the baby in a very public place for a very short time.

How can we know who to trust and who not to trust?  If I had to go through parenthood again with a young child, I would choose to trust no one but my family and closest friends.  Its very sad that our children are so vulnerable but they are....

...teachers, day care workers, coaches, babysitters, neighbors, clergymen, doctors, nurses, relatives...

Sad, sad, sad.

Life Is Not Fair

When a child is sexually abused, no matter what age, their childhood is stolen and the course of their life changes.  The victim lives with the after affects as the predator, the offender, the monster, moves on to his/her next victim.

No matter what age, child or adult, something very twisted happens in our psyche when someone assaults us sexually.  We are 100% innocent, not at fault in any way, but more often than not one of the after effects is feeling ashamed, guilty and sometimes even as if we asked for it.

This is a heartbreaking tragedy.

Humiliation, fear, anger, shame, self blame, anxiety, self loathing, a sense of being ruined and dirty, lack of self worth.

All these things, and more, lead to a person not having the opportunity to have a healthy self esteem.  It can lead to promiscuity; hatred of the opposite sex; a belief that the only thing valuable about themselves as a person is their sexuality.

I hate the word victim because there is no positive association with that word.  I like to help victims change their way of thinking and start to call themselves "survivors".  Yes - we were victims, but we survived.  If we continue living as victims the other person (people) won and we continue to suffer day in and day out.

Its a lifelong battle and its so unfair.

Its unfair when a child is diagnosed with cancer.  They lose their childhood too.  They live with all sorts of pain and fear.  But people are their to love and support them through it.  They never feel it was their fault they got cancer.  They don't feel like less of a person.  It won't change the types of relationships they have in the future.

And - they are looked at with compassion or even respect for fighting the battle.

A girl who was raped, a boy who was molested, they typically live with their secret.  They tell no one.  Its too horrible to talk about.  They fear what will happen to them if they tell.

If someone does find out - they are looked at with pity or more likely, they are avoided or the subject is glossed over in denial because no one wants to address it, its too damn ugly.

So...please understand that you are a victim that is also a survivor.  Don't let the monsters win, fight for your self worth, work through your anger, accept the unfairness.

Talk to someone who understands...someone who knows how it feels.  You can take your life back.  It will never be 100% gone the emotional wounds heal goes on but the scars never completely fade, they are a lifelong reminder.

I'm sorry life is so unfair and that so many children lose their innocence.  I wish I knew a way to make it all just stop.

Rabbi and His Three Sons Accused of Raping Daughters/Sisters

This is exceptionally sick and evil.  A rabbi doing and his sons raping and abusing his daughters for years, one as young as 8 years old.  I hope they pay for their crimes. 

NEW YORK -- A Hasidic rabbi and three of his sons are suspected of sexually abusing at least four female relatives after the eldest victim confided in a co-worker at a Jewish school, police said Friday.

The 58-year-old father and his 21-year-old son fled to Israel two days ago and are wanted for questioning in the case, police said. They were apparently driven to the airport by the mother.

Two other sons, a 24-year-old and a 15-year-old, were arrested on sexual abuse and rape charges. It was unclear whether they had attorneys, and a message left at the home wasn't immediately returned.

The suspects' names are being withheld by The Associated Press to avoid identification of victims.

Police say the abuse came to light after the oldest victim, now 20, who worked as a teacher's aide at a yeshiva in Brooklyn, told a teacher there she had been abused. Authorities believe she was assaulted by her father repeatedly for 15 years. The other victims range in age from 8 to 19, and investigators believe the abuse was also repeated.

Police say the father is suspected of abusing at least two of his daughters. The brothers were accused of rape and other crimes for abusing their sisters. The youngest suspect was accused of sexually assaulting the 8-year-old.

Source:  KTLA

Violent Sexual Predator Relased to OC Tomorrow!

Lawrence Brown

Sometimes I want to throw intelligent words out the window and just yell at the top of my lungs, "WHAT THE ____ ARE THEY THINKING!"

One thing I know is that it has been shown again and again and again that sexual predators can not be rehabilitated. They get out and re-offend and MANY times the crimes escalate. The absolute perfect example from very recently is this scumbag, John Gardner, who KILLED two young girls after being let out after raping several girls.

WHEN ARE WE GOING TO LEARN THAT ENDANGERING INNOCENT PEOPLE IS NOT OKAY? 

I am sickened. Here's the story:

SANTA ANA, Calif. (KABC) -- The Orange County District Attorney's (OCDA) Office released a statement Tuesday warning the community of the impending release of a convicted violent sex offender.

The suspect, Lawrence Joseph Brown, 52, was convicted of kidnapping and forcible sex on two Santa Ana girls, ages 7 and 8, in two separate assaults. Sentencing enhancements were added to the convictions due to the violent nature of the crimes.

Brown was released on parole in April. He was free for several days before he violated his parole. He had registered as a sex offender in Santa Ana but lived with a girlfriend in Tustin. Tustin Police were never notified. On May, 6, 2010, only 10 days after being released from prison, he was violated on his parole and sent back to state prison.

The OCDA has requested that Brown be classified as a Sexually Violent Predator so he would be civilly committed, according to the OCDA's office.

The OCDA's office says the state Department of Mental Health has not responded to the classification request in a timely manner.

Brown is scheduled to be released Wednesday from Chino State Prison. He's scheduled to be released into Orange County.

Taken from ABC News, rest of story (including a video) here.  THIS VIDEO TELLS YOU WHAT KIND OF A MONSTER THIS GUY IS!  ITS INSANE THAT THEY ARE LETTING THIS DUDE OUT!

Rape outside the USA - Part One

I would never call a rape survivor "fortunate" but I can say that those of us who have endured the crime of rape  here in the States are much more fortunate than in many other parts of the world.

I am going to start a series about what its like for a victim of rape in other countries by linking to articles or stories, and also by interviewing a  young lady I know from a Muslin country.

In India the laws are humiliating, unjust and completely non-scientific.  They use "the finger test" which is exactly what you it sounds like (see here for full article and be prepared to be angered).

Thankfully these laws are coming up for review and many human rights organizations are making a loud noise to have them changed.  As in many places (including here) the victim is often blamed for the crime.  I don't think many women stand a chance of seeing justice in India unless these laws are revised.

"At the core of the finger-test is the widespread belief that a sexually liberated woman is "asking for it" and protecting her is not the state’s responsibility."

The rest of the article is HERE.

Documentary on young rape survivors in Zimbabwe

Tapestries of Hope, is a documentary on young rape survivors in Zimbabwe. Information about the documentary can be found at http://www.tapestriesofhope.com/


The documentary will be screened in over 100 theaters across the United States on September 28 at 7:30 PM. 


I will post locations here as soon as they are available.

What Do You Think of This Anti-Rape Device?

(Blogger not allowing me to post a photo, but I will as soon as I am able)

Called Rape-aXe, the female condom is inserted by a woman much like a tampon. Of the effects of the condom on an attacker, Ehlers explained, “It hurts, he cannot pee and walk when it’s on. If he tries to remove it, it will clasp even tighter… however, it doesn’t break the skin, and there’s no danger of fluid exposure.” Further more, only a doctor can remove Rape-aXe once it’s lodged on, meaning that hopefully, police can be on standby to make an arrest when the injured assailant look for medical help.

Ehlers designed the spiked condom after seeing the devastation in the eyes of a rape victim that came to her for help 40 years ago. She consulted engineers, gynecologists and psychologists to confirm that the design was safe and now plans to distribute 30,000 of them for free during the World Cup, after which they’ll be available for about $2 each. “The ideal situation would be for a woman to wear this when she’s going out on some kind of blind date … or to an area she’s not comfortable with,” she said.

Ehlers even visited prisons to speak to convicted rapists about whether such a device would have made them rethink their actions. “Some said it would have,” she said.

Some critics are saying that the device could lead to more violence by an attacker trapped by it, and that it is a medieval solution, a criticism to which Ehlers, a mother of two daughters responded, “Yes, my device may be a medieval, but it’s for a medieval deed that has been around for decades. I believe something’s got to be done … and this will make some men rethink before they assault a woman.”

We do have one question about the design though – how does a woman take the device out herself and how can she prevent an attacker from doing the same?

Read more: South African Doctor Invents Female Condoms with 'Teeth' to Fight Sexual Assault | Inhabitat - Green Design Will Save the World

Source: Inhabitat

Coach Pleads Guilty in Rape of Young Girls

YMCA employee James Connor gets 20 - 30 years.

"Conner sexually assaulted two girls numerous times while employed as a coach for the Melrose YMCA and used hidden video cameras to record himself in the act. Prosecutors said Conner committed the crimes over several years at his home and at YMCA after-school programs. Both of the victims were under 14 at the time.

Conner was hired at the Y in 1995 as a coach and joined the after-school program in 2001. He was arrested in February 2009."  source:  Boston Examiner

Once again someone most people would trust their children around has proved to be a predatory monster.  Its very sad that we have to be leery of men who choose jobs which involve being around children, but we do.

I feel bad for all the legit basketball coaches are out there teaching teen girls how to play a great sport and mentoring them in teamwork, but unfortunately we need to be suspicious of anyone who works with children.  We need to examine their lives and their actions, and if they put up one ounce of protest - they should not be allowed in the position to be around children.

Is there an overabundance of perverted criminal sex offenders among professional athletes?

Lawrence Taylor

It sure seems that way. I know there are plenty of non-proffessional athletes committing the same heinous crimes against women, they just don't get all the media attention.

The latest one makes me cringe. 51 year old Lawrence Taylor arrested for rape, charged with calling a pimp and having a 16 year old girl brought to his hotel. I am not into football but even I recognize his name.

Check out this quote from the NY Times:

"...was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1999 and is considered one of the best defensive players to play in the N.F.L., had a 13-year career with the Giants that was marred by problems with drugs and alcohol. He was suspended several times by the N.F.L. and was arrested multiple times for drug possession. In the past few years he has re-emerged as a public personality, including working in front of the camera on N.F.L. broadcasts. He has said his drug problems are in his past."

Perhaps Mr. Taylor (aka scumball rapist of underage women) no longer has a drug or alcohol problem but he has a moral and legal problem. Disgusting.

And this girl - chances are she's a victim of being used as a prostitute. Sounds like she may be a runaway that got caught up doing what she had to do to survive on the streets or support a drug habit? Who knows, but I hope she gets help.

Westminister Detective Arrested for Rape

Two police officers car-jack, kidnap and rape a 24 year old.  Nice.  I hope that if they are convicted and sent to jail I hope they experience the same treatment as the other inmates from the officers that work in that jail.  They were extremely rude and harsh with me as a visitor - so you can imagine how the inmates are treated.  I also hope that they are put in general population and the other inmates can intimidate and scare and rape them in the same way they did this young woman.  IF they are found guilty.  You know what I learned last year, "innocent until proven guilty" is a joke in our judicial system.  Its the other way around.

Here are the details from the Orange County Register:

WESTMINSTER – An off-duty Westminster police detective and a state corrections officer were arrested Saturday night in connection with a carjacking, kidnapping and rape of a 24-year-old restaurant employee in Ontario, police said.

Anthony Nicholas Orban, 30, a five-year officer assigned to investigations with the Westminster Police Department, has been relieved from duty during the investigation, a department spokesman said Monday morning.

The other suspect is Jeff Thomas Jelenek, 30, an officer with the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, according to San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department booking records.

The arrests were first reported by the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin late Sunday.

Sgt. Dan Schoonmaker, of the Westminster Police Department, confirmed the details in the Daily Bulletin story, saying it was the same information his department has received from Ontario police.

A police service weapon found in the restaurant worker's car led authorities to Orban.

Police Officer Accused of Rape

James Roberts III

Its extremely disturbing when someone in a "trusted role of authority" commits a crime.  It is abhorrent when the crime is rape and the alleged rapist is a POLICE OFFICER.  The victims are his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend who both filed charges with the Huntington Beach Police Department.  The charges were IGNORED and no action against this guy was taken!  Did they think their reputation would be harmed?  Well now it is for sure. 

Tears for Amber DuBois

They found her remains today.  My heart hurts for her family.  That scumbag that killed Chelsea King probably did this too.  Its not a coincidence that they intensified their search efforts after Chelea's rape/murder (see below).  Look at this girl.  Her skeletal remains is all that's left for her parents to bury.  At least they have closure.  Whoever did this deserves to suffer.

Chelsea King

Jane Valez-Mitchell uses the term "The War on Women" to describe the epidemic of murders and rapes that occur in the United States.

I have tried to write about this case several times but my emotions are too raw.  This is the cleaned up version of what I am trying to say.  Rest in peace, Chelsea.  (I've seen her parents on TV, they are in such an obvious state of shock it hurts to look at them knowing sooner or later...its going to hit hard.)

This is a murder/rape that was 100% preventable.  I want justice.  I want laws to change.  I want the judge and probation officer responsible for letting a sexual predator roam the streets for prey to pay for their asinine, deathly, cowardly, stupid fucking decision.

Man Arrested for 10 Year Old Rape Case after a Chase

Ignacio Piceno

I love how DNA is able to catch and convict criminals years after the fact.  This guy sounds very dangerous and will be locked up for a long time.  Story here.

One of the Top Ten Most Wanted in Orange Cournty - Captured

Thanks to DNA, Ali Achekzai, was caught all the way over in Austria on three rape charges that occurred here in Orange County. He also raped a woman over there, and undoubtedly has a long history of sexual crimes. I hope that if there are other victims, they feel safe to come forward.


Here is a link to a video on the arrest.

An Especially Vulnerable Victim

Some of you know that my focus has been mostly on drug addiction (specifically heroin) and that I am chronicling my son's recovery this blog.  I follow 40 blogs that are written by other parents of addicts, addicts and people who inform others on the tragedy of our current heroin/opitate epidemic.

One of my favorite blogs on the topic is called Recovery Helpdesk.  Today there was a post about a girl (16) was raped by her drug dealer while her father sat outside in the car waiting for her.  (See link for story).

This sad story reminds me that addicts put themselves at more risk for being the victim of any type of crime there is because of their lifestyle and mindset.  A heroin addict lives for one thing:  more heroin.  You need a certain amount per day to keep yourself from getting violently ill. 

Sometimes addicts (male and female) resort to prostitution or trading sexual favors for drugs.  This teenage girl's father was outside in the car while this happened to her - clueless to that he had just dropped his daughter off to pick up some drugs. 

I share this because I know from experience there is still a stereotype from years ago of what a "heroin addict" looks like.  That stereotype needs to wiped away because in today's teen culture, heroin is commonplace.  The frightening thing is - these kids aren't afraid of it like we were.  They may hear that you can get addicted after one use, but you know what the mentality is at that age:

"It will never happen to me."

I wonder, if it were availalbe so readily in the 70's how many of my friends would have tried it, become addicted and be dead or living on the streets today.  Most of us partied on marijuana, alcohol, cocaine with an occasional "downer", "upper" or hallucinagen (LSD).  But things have changed.

Yesterdays pothead is today's heroin or Oxy addict.  The jails are loaded with them.  Nice kids, the kind you may know from your neigborhood, your church, your kid's school.  Or maybe you even have one living under your roof and have no idea, like I did.

I've learned more about drug addiction and heroin in the last year and I urge you to keep an eye on any teens you know, ages 13 and up.  Awareness is the first step in prevention.  If I knew in October 2008 what I know today, perhaps my son would not be living in a drug rehab today wondering if his best friend is going to make it or not (he's on life support after an OD on Friday night).

Its a serioius problem.  If you are a parent don't say what I did:

"It will never happen to my kid"

(sound familiar?)