These guys deserve NO SYMPATHY

Greg Haidl Rape Case

this case makes me ill not only because of what these guys did, but the publics reaction to it. Its the classic case of the victim being seen as "asking for it" or "deserving it".

A recap: Three teenage guys were partying with a girl. I believe one of them had had sex with her previously and she was bragging about how she wanted to be a porn star. At one point she passed out and they put her on the pool table and proceeded to rape her and also inserted objects in both her vagina and rectum including a pool cue, Snapple bottle, juice can, and even a lit cigarette. They videotaped the entire thing. That's right - its on tape so there was NO DENYING THAT IT HAPPENED.

Yet, this case had to be tried twice because the first jury FOUND THEM INNOCENT. They totally judged the girl in this case as being a slut and therefore she deserved what she had coming. I'd love to see their reaction if that was one of their daughters on the video tape. The victims morals were on trial rather than the reactions of these sadistic young men who LAUGHED DURIING THE TRIAL and BRAGGED ABOUT IT. Then he committed a similar crime less than two years later.

Here's an article on it from one of our local papers. (did I mention his dad is an assistant sheriff for our county. Here and they are very wealthy. Funny thing - the defense attorney they hired also has a past sex conviction for having sex with a minor....)

For the rest of their lives one "false move" and they will be back in jail. They are now registered sex offenders.

The Time I Got Away

I never thought I'd share this with anyone but it been eating away at me. I keep running into the guy so I am assuming that's a sign or something. I mean after all, the purpose of this blog is to educate others and make them aware...


I like to think of myself as saavy and smart when it comes to men. A survivor. A woman that would never take risks that would put her in harm's away. After all I've been raped twice...TWICE!

So a few years ago I meet this guy, Joe. I meet him online on a social networking site (Facebook). How harmless - facebook is like myspace for GROWN UPS right? Well he worked at the local college and lived next door to one of my son's best friends, just a few streets away. I had no idea what he looked like because he used Bob Marley as his photo.

Anyhow we chatted off and on for months, never even hinting at anything sexual. But I did develop a little crush on him and gave him my number. He sounded good looking on the phone. He seemed really nice. He LIKED me.

So one night he called and said "hey this is crazy that we live so close and have never met, why don't you drive by here and I will meet you in front of my house just to say hi and break the ice". I assumed this was his way of checking me out before taking me on a date. (He'd seen my pic).

Against my better judge's and against my NUMBER ONE DATING RULE (always meet in a public place for a first date and bring your own car), I went over there. When I got there he was standing in the driveway rolling a cigarette. He was cuter than I even imagined. He was tall, dark hair, green eyes, and a big scar across his face that made him look a bit intimidating.

He hugged me. I smelled alcohol on his breath. We chatted outside for a few minutes, it was nice. Then he took me by the hand and said "hey, i need a glass of water" and headed for the inside of his house. I heard the warning bells go off BUT as many, many, many women in this situation think, my thoughts were:

"I'm being silly, he's a nice guy, it would insult him if I acted like I thought I couldn't trust him, he's not going to try anything, I'll be safe"

Famous last thoughts.

We went in, he offered me a drink, I said no thanks, he poured us both a water and went and sat on the couch. I sat a few feet away. He continued talking about this and that and I started to relax.

Then, without warning he was next to me trying to kiss me. I pushed him away. He pinned me down and said some foul things about what he wanted to do to me. I can't tell you what exactly went through my head at that moment but I was afraid for my life for the first and only time. The thought of my son hearing that I had been raped and murdered flashed through my mind. I found myself HOPING he'd only rape me. I kept saying NO and pushing at him and he finally got off me.

I was shaking like a leaf. I ran to my car. He followed me begging me to stop and talk. The second I drove off my cell phone was ringing. He called repeatedly for hours that night getting angry and angrier each time he got my voice mail. He finally gave up and I never heard from him again...

But last weekend I was in the liquor store buying some gum. When it was my turn I looked at the guy behind the counter and...it was HIM. I will never forget his face. He wasn't looking me in the eye and I was not sure if it was because he recognized me or not. So, I said "Do you remember me?" The look on his face told me that it took a second for him to register who I was....and once he did he seemed embarrassed. I acted cool but when I got in the car I started shaking.

So....be smart. Even "mature" women make stupid mistakes. I am so damn lucky. (I saw him again tonight while driving....)