Just the other day I was talking with one of my son's female friends. She's 19 and has held three jobs over the last three years. She told me she had to quit two of those jobs due to sexual advances made by her bosses! One kept trying to touch her and made sexual suggestions the other said very perverted things to her and tried to corner her several times.
I asked her why she didn't file charges, she said the first time (when she was 16) she really didn't know any better, she thought it was an isolated incident that would never happen again, quitting seemed like the easiest way to put it behind her.
In the next case she really needed the job so put up with it for awhile and then threatened the guy that her father and boyfriend both knew what he was doing (a lie) and were going to beat the crap out of him if he did it again. Not a mature response but, again, she was a teen and didn't want a "hassle".
It's been going on for years and women (or men) that are harassed like this need to speak up. I admit, when in my early 20's my boss hired me because of my looks *(he admitted this) and then continued to pursue me and threaten to fire me if I did not perform sexual acts - and I walked away! I was too embarrassed to tell anyone that I was dumb enough to let this guy hire me, I felt like it was "my fault" because he thought I was "one of those girls" that would do such a thing. (So common for someone who's been sexually abused in the past to blame themselves).
Here is an article that states this problem is widespread. I congratulate any young women/men who are brave enough to speak out and face the public with their story:
2 comments:
This happened to me when I was sixteen but I didn't stop it. He was well into his thirties.It went on for a year until I graduated. I didn't realize that I had been taken advantage of until I was away from him, then I broke it off. I am beginning to get back on track with my life, I have chosen to handle this alone and I do not regret it. I only ever admitted it to one friend to stop her from doing something very similar with an older man. I am glad I went through this if it was the only way I could convince my friend not to do the same. Because I am strong enough to move on with my life.
These articles talk about people who were harassed but did not consent. I consented and for anyone, and I believe there are people like me who consented either due to pressure, insecurities or instability in their life. Those people, you are not alone, I went through it, and if you are still in it get out. It is not healthy and in the big picture he is an older man taking advantage of you. Get out, and be strong. Your life will continue you as long as you hold yourself high and realize yourself to be the beautiful, strong, lovable woman that you are.
Anon., THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing this and speaking to others who may read this. I am glad you were able to talk your friend out of it. Its very unhealthy as you said, adult men that have relationships with women under the age of 18 are breaking a law, and that law is to protect vulnerable girls. Vulnerable does not mean stupid or naive or immature it means that ALL women can be vulnerable, but the younger you are the less life experience you have and the more protection you need from these predators.
I am glad you are a strong woman that didn't let this take her down the wrong path. Good for you.
Thanks again!
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