RAPE IS ABOUT VIOLENCE NOT SEX
I just read the story of an 85 year old Holocaust survivor that endured a brutal rape two years ago when she was 83 years old. It reminds me of the day in my training class that we learned about rape not having anything do do with sex, and everything to do with violence.
This is hard for me to agree with because so often it does seem that men rape for some sort of sexual gratification, but experts say that is NOT the case. The sexual gratification is based in violence and domination. I can't believe this poor elderly lady who lived through so much as a young girl had to endure this horrific kind of violence.
Showing posts with label Elder Abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Elder Abuse. Show all posts
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
From Two to Ninety Two
Last nights class had two sections:
Child molestation
Elderly abuse/rape
During the session on children we learned mostly about how to talk to kids and use forms of play therapy to get them to talk. We didn't hear any detailed graphic stories - you can pick up your local paper or turn on the news to read about that, so she didn't feel the need to educate us on the "why or what" but on the "how" to help afterwards. It was informative.
The hardest thing to know about children being abused is that it is so often a family member, a father, step-father or older brother. Males and females are at equal risk. Its devastating for a child - obviously. But here's what gets to me:
When the mother KNOWS and chooses to go into denial rather than help her daughter. We heard several stories about that and I personally know someone who's mother turned a blind eye to her husband having sex with all three of her daughters. HOW can a mother do this?
What surprised me and devastated me was learning about elder abuse and rape. Its not something that gets talked about, and rarely gets reported. One woman that was raped was 92 year old. The question that comes up is:
"How could anyone possibly find a 92 year old woman sexually appealing?"
The answer is (this is the single most important fact about rape):
Rape is NOT ABOUT SEX
Its a violent crime that has to do with power and control
(the power and control are what get the rapist aroused, not the fact that the woman/man is sexy)
More on this later. I learned so much last night. It was sad.
I think child molestation IS about sex, but I didn't have a chance to ask that question. I will find out. Child molestation is different...I think...still learning.
Child molestation
Elderly abuse/rape
During the session on children we learned mostly about how to talk to kids and use forms of play therapy to get them to talk. We didn't hear any detailed graphic stories - you can pick up your local paper or turn on the news to read about that, so she didn't feel the need to educate us on the "why or what" but on the "how" to help afterwards. It was informative.
The hardest thing to know about children being abused is that it is so often a family member, a father, step-father or older brother. Males and females are at equal risk. Its devastating for a child - obviously. But here's what gets to me:
When the mother KNOWS and chooses to go into denial rather than help her daughter. We heard several stories about that and I personally know someone who's mother turned a blind eye to her husband having sex with all three of her daughters. HOW can a mother do this?
What surprised me and devastated me was learning about elder abuse and rape. Its not something that gets talked about, and rarely gets reported. One woman that was raped was 92 year old. The question that comes up is:
"How could anyone possibly find a 92 year old woman sexually appealing?"
The answer is (this is the single most important fact about rape):
Rape is NOT ABOUT SEX
Its a violent crime that has to do with power and control
(the power and control are what get the rapist aroused, not the fact that the woman/man is sexy)
More on this later. I learned so much last night. It was sad.
I think child molestation IS about sex, but I didn't have a chance to ask that question. I will find out. Child molestation is different...I think...still learning.
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