Here are ten random points/thoughts I came away with after my class today:
1. There is only one way to stop rape. No one in our class could figure out what it was, before I reveal the answer I'd love to hear your thoughts.
2. Victim or Survivor? I belong to a forum for women that is a wonderful, safe, gentle and loving place for women who've been raped/assulted to share their stories and support other women (and there is a section for men as well). On the site they ask us to use the word SURVIVOR rather than VICTIM.
Today in class the instructor pointed out that even though someone determined that it was impoliticly correct and un-empowering to use the word "victim", it was an important part of the healing process to acknowledge that the person raped or abused was indeed a VICTIM. The number one reason women don't discuss rape is because of shame and thinking they were partly responsible for what happened. This is not true and its one of the main things I hope to educate people about here.
3. Child and adolescent survivors are 2 -5 times more likely to be attacked again in their lifetime.
4. Rape is not about sex. It is about power and control. Even though its sexual in nature, its VIOLENCE. Sadly people call it a "sex crime" which is very misleading (way more about this later!)
5. Regardless of what it seems like on TV, being the victim of a rape and going through the court process can take years and can be as degrading to the victim as the actual crime. It is a hard crime to prove and for juries to convict on. Later I will share a local story that is the most horrific example in California State history of a victim being put on trial for a brutal, vicious gang rape.
6. We learned about the history of rape from the beginning of civilization. It was very, very disturbing. Women were treated as objects/possessions for centuries.
7. 85% of all rapes are committed by an acquaintance of the victim (in my county the stat is 97%!).
8. The most common age for a rape victim is between 16 - 24.
9. Most stranger abduction rapists look like "normal" guys and are typically married with a family.
10. Jail sentences for rape are usually very lenient.
3 comments:
#3 puzzled me. Is it because they have been scarred so bad that they chose unhealthy people to be with, thus setting themselves up for the same scenario to happen again?
Aphra, you are wise. That's pretty much it in a nutshell. Being raped often leads one down a path that is more dangerous. It messed with your entire perception. Using myself as an example...when I was 17 I had no fear at all of getting in a van with a total stranger because I was "tough" and had a "nothing can hurt me attitude" from some of the things that had been done to me.
We had a horrible case near here. It happend in the projects in Palm Beach county. A gang rape committed by teenagers on a young woman and her son. Not only were they raped, they forced the son to do things to his mother. It's really hard to believe there are such sick people in the world. The caught them because once they had one of them, they ratted each other out until all were found. After that they shut down the whole complex I think. It was in the news for months here. I don't think it has gone to trial yet, but how do oyu survive something like that and go on? It must be incredibly hard and no one ever talks about that on the news. Only the actual crime. I cry for them just thinking abou it.
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