Sunday, January 27, 2008

Thinking outloud about child molesting priests and other pedophiles

I am not into statistics so I apologize for not researching this to lay out facts. This is just how I see it. I grew up in the Catholic church and our family knew two priests as close friends. I know that not all priests are perverts - but one of the two I knew did seem to have some issues. The other one left the priesthood, got married and had a family (my family was appalled by that - I loved it).

My point - not ALL priests are child molesters, probably if you looked at the numbers it would be a fairly small percent. But out of the ones who are my question is:

Did they become that way because of a vow of celibacy? Its unnatural to live a lifetime without sex (if ya ask me), so these priests had tons of sexual desires that they were not able to express. Instead of being a man about it and finding a woman, they chose children because they were the least likely to tell anyone about it. I don't get it...how can you say you love God enough to devote your life to him, but then molest the innocent children that you are suppose to be a spiritual father to (for non-Catholics, we refer to priests as "Father So and So")

My other question: Were some of these priests pedophiles that chose this vocation because they knew it would give them access to little boys and/or girls?

This reminds me, pedophiles seek out careers (or volunteer opportunities) where they will be in contact with children. Sad as it is, you should be suspicious of any male that volunteers as your child's sports coach unless they have a child on the team too. Pedophiles need access to children and will often volunteer at the YMCA or as a coach, etc. They look just like the rest of us - normal. There is no way to tell and if they've never been caught, there is nothing found on a background check. Its up to parents to be very cautions (how sad that we have to worry about this....)

Another thing pedophiles do is target single mothers with children the age and sex of their choice. In class we heard story after story of guys finding a woman who to date so he could have access to her kids. When caught the woman always said she had no idea, but admitted that she and her boyfriend didn't have a "sexual connection". UGH!!!!! A man who does not want sex with his girlfriend has a problem!!! (unless its for religious/moral reasons)

One problem with our society is that we have become so sensitive to offending someone, and so friggin politically correct about everything, that no one had the guts to question why males are in certain jobs. Clues that a guy is a pedophile:

  • Never married
  • over 35
  • Lives with mom (or both parents or grandparents)
  • Has a low paying job with gaps in employment
  • Has few friends
  • Enjoys childlike activities - arcades etc.
and
  • Is a COLLECTOR of something
(we learned yesterday that ALL pedophiles have a collection of something that is neatly organized. It can be stamps, coins, baseball cards....or child porn. But they have never found a true pedophile that did not have a collection - use this info to check out anyone you suspect or as a red flag warning!)

Remember: Pedophiles and Child Molesters are not the same, there are child molesters everywhere! Be on the alert!

Here is a recent story out of my local paper


and a good article describing pedophiles

6 comments:

Aphra said...

On the priest/pedophile things, I thought that the priests who turned out that was took the chastity vow did it to try to 'escape' the feelings they were feeling. I had never thought about the vow of chastity causing them to be that way.

Anonymous said...

I don't believe that there is an relationship btwn the two.

I think it more a sign of western culture as a whole which is moving further into debasing desires then 75 to 100 years ago. The social tabo's have been torn down and children who are molested in turn have a higher % of becoming molesters themselves when they grow up.

I think this is a balanced article by a Catholic priest, you may find useful.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,289828,00.html

Bottom line for me as a Catholic is the bishops who permitted this to go on are more gulity then the priest who did it. I do know of some cases however being a parent as well that you simply don't allow your kid to stay overnight with anyone you don't know really well. And as a parent myself we only allow our kids to go when both parents are home and there's more then one kid staying over otherwise it's a no go.

I agree with your points very much on male profiles. I can't recall where I read it but apparently one should not trust women either. That is going to be the newest info on the growing problem of molesters in public schools.

Anonymous said...

Woman who end up dating pedophiles were often sexually abused themselves. You would think that they would have developed some sort of radar but it seems to work the opposite way. They desperately want love, affirmation and attention - which the pedophile boyfriend is often quite good at supplying. Their ability to judge whether a situation is safe or not has been so screwed up by their abuse that they don't have the ability to see under the surface of people - partly because they are living on the surface much of the time, trying not to think about what has happened to them. If their boyfriend doesn't want sex, they are probably overjoyed and think he's being sensitive and caring because sex is a difficult thing for them. I've met a couple of women like this. They were completely devastated when their boyfriend turned out to be an abuser. And they defended him and believed him when the evidence was all against him.

Bar L. said...

Tom,
Thanks so much for the info you provided. It's a very complex issue, that's for sure! And yes, women are pedophiles too - yet I have my own idea about why some of them prey on school age boys (just a theory maybe I will share sometime).

Mariam, EXACTLY!!!! We learned that in class also. Its all part of that horrible cycle of what happens to people when they receive abuse as a child. Especially if they are repeatedly abused by someone that should be their protector.

Bar L. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I remember a couple years ago at Halloween (you know, the one time a year we actually encourage our kids to go door to door not only accepting candy from people they barely know but asking for it). My friend actually pointed out that I would never hurt a child, so why would I want them to be "afraid" of me. I proceeded to point out to her all the ways that I actually fit the profile of the "nice neighbor" that so many people wish they'd been more cautious of after the fact.

It's not that I want my neighbors or their kids to be afraid of me, because they have nothing to fear. But I also understand they need to be and should be cautious, because they don't really know that.

To be honest, it's kind of depressing to think about.