From Two to Ninety Two

Last nights class had two sections:

Child molestation

Elderly abuse/rape

During the session on children we learned mostly about how to talk to kids and use forms of play therapy to get them to talk. We didn't hear any detailed graphic stories - you can pick up your local paper or turn on the news to read about that, so she didn't feel the need to educate us on the "why or what" but on the "how" to help afterwards. It was informative.

The hardest thing to know about children being abused is that it is so often a family member, a father, step-father or older brother. Males and females are at equal risk. Its devastating for a child - obviously. But here's what gets to me:

When the mother KNOWS and chooses to go into denial rather than help her daughter. We heard several stories about that and I personally know someone who's mother turned a blind eye to her husband having sex with all three of her daughters. HOW can a mother do this?

What surprised me and devastated me was learning about elder abuse and rape. Its not something that gets talked about, and rarely gets reported. One woman that was raped was 92 year old. The question that comes up is:

"How could anyone possibly find a 92 year old woman sexually appealing?"

The answer is (this is the single most important fact about rape):

Rape is NOT ABOUT SEX
Its a violent crime that has to do with power and control
(the power and control are what get the rapist aroused, not the fact that the woman/man is sexy)

More on this later. I learned so much last night. It was sad.

I think child molestation IS about sex, but I didn't have a chance to ask that question. I will find out. Child molestation is different...I think...still learning.