Today's class was heavy and full of information. I don't know how much of it I will be able to use, but I now have "inside info" on what goes on behind the scenes in the investigation of a sexual abuse/rape case. It was fascinating to get hear what the cops go through and also what goes on in the mind of a sexual predator/rapist/etc.
The class was led by two police officers who are experts in the field. They shared stories, showed us videos of actual interrogations they had done, and even gave us some of their "secret techniques" for getting an offender to confess.
After the last couple of weeks we have heard some pretty hardcore stuff in class and even though none of us are desensitized, you do get accustomed to being horrified by these stories....but nothing prepared me something I heard today, I think the majority of the class gasped. Without too many details, I'll just share the bottom line:
I heard a 9 year old boy (on a recording) confront his dad and say "Dad, I didn't like it when you put your dick in my butt". The father said "Oh, I'm sorry buddy." Can you imagine? This happens all the time. Its unspeakable, so I won't even try to express how it made me feel to hear that innocent young voice saying that...In the above case the perpetrator is in prison and will hopefully stay there for a loooooong time.
Here is something new and upsetting I learned that relates to the above:
I pointed out Megan's Law website in a post the other day. I assumed that ALL the registered sex offenders in California had to sign up on that site. I was wrong. If you read the fine print you will learn that:
In the cases of FAMILY MEMBERS they have a choice of whether or not to register on the site. Who the hell would choose to do it if they don't have to!
BUT GET THIS - 95% OF THE OFFENDERS KNOWN BY THE VICTIM -
95%!!!!!!
So, all the pervs you see on there molested, raped or abused someone outside their family. There are a hell of a lot sickos still on the lose. The reasoning behind this? They have suffered enough because most of them lose their family as a result, many lose their jobs, etc. So why inconvenience then any further? Grrrrr?
That reminds me - all this applies to the State of California. Different states have different laws. The most lenient states: New Mexico and Nevada. The strictest: Texas.
Other thought that are rambling through my brain that I just have to get out:
1. A few years ago there was a horrendous rape case here....I don't even want to name it on my blog because its so disgusting. Well, the dude (he's only 22) got out of jail today and is once again freeing roaming the streets after only a three short years in prison.
2. Stereotypes can be accurate, or totally off base, but criminal profiles paint a very clear picture and we can use that info to protect our children and ourselves. For example, if your kid has a sports coach that is single and/or does not have a child on the team - you better make sure you keep an eye on him.
3. True pedophiles are actually uncommon. 85% of child molesters are "situational" and will act out with whoever is available rather than seeking them out. Sadly this is not an uncommon scenario: a guy is sitting around watching TV alone with his stepdaughter and has never sexually touched a kid is his life but for some reason he suddenly feels compelled to and....well it happens way too often.
4. A true pedophile will openly state that they LOVE children and that its perfectly natural for them to have the relationship they have. They think we are unloving for not understanding. Did you see the interview of Michael Jackson several years ago? Enough said.
5. Pedophiles CAN NOT BE REHABILITATED. There is proof of this (at least I am convinced)
a) some men actually ask to be physically castrated to try and stop their behavior. Even though this leaves them impotent and unable to have an erection, they still THINK about it all the time and often still molest children with their hands/mouth.
b) imagine this: You are a 40 year heterosexual woman. Can you suddenly change your sexual preference and start liking 6 year old boys? NO! And men who like 6 year old boys can't change their preference to mature woman either. Its just the way they have always been and will always be.
6. MySpace is not nearly as bad as people make it sound. The problem is when parents don't know what their kids are doing on it. Today's use of Myspace is the normal, typical way teens communicate....like when we used to talk on the phone for hours as teens - now they talk online.
7. If there are show's like "How to Catch a Predator" on TV how can anyone be stupid enough to still get caught? I don't know, but they do. Over and over again.
8. This is not really valid but I have to say it: Why is there always one very annoying person in any class that asks detailed long questions two minutes and makes everyone irritated? Thank goodness the cops leading the class didn't put up with it and told her to hold her frigging questions till the end. Of course that didn't stop her, but it did cut down on how often she did it.
9. We also saw a videotaped interview with a pedophile that was serving a life prison (without parole). He freely shared about what went through his mind, how he found his victims, how he gained their trust...etc. etc. It was very informative - and sickening.