Life Is Not Fair

When a child is sexually abused, no matter what age, their childhood is stolen and the course of their life changes.  The victim lives with the after affects as the predator, the offender, the monster, moves on to his/her next victim.

No matter what age, child or adult, something very twisted happens in our psyche when someone assaults us sexually.  We are 100% innocent, not at fault in any way, but more often than not one of the after effects is feeling ashamed, guilty and sometimes even as if we asked for it.

This is a heartbreaking tragedy.

Humiliation, fear, anger, shame, self blame, anxiety, self loathing, a sense of being ruined and dirty, lack of self worth.

All these things, and more, lead to a person not having the opportunity to have a healthy self esteem.  It can lead to promiscuity; hatred of the opposite sex; a belief that the only thing valuable about themselves as a person is their sexuality.

I hate the word victim because there is no positive association with that word.  I like to help victims change their way of thinking and start to call themselves "survivors".  Yes - we were victims, but we survived.  If we continue living as victims the other person (people) won and we continue to suffer day in and day out.

Its a lifelong battle and its so unfair.

Its unfair when a child is diagnosed with cancer.  They lose their childhood too.  They live with all sorts of pain and fear.  But people are their to love and support them through it.  They never feel it was their fault they got cancer.  They don't feel like less of a person.  It won't change the types of relationships they have in the future.

And - they are looked at with compassion or even respect for fighting the battle.

A girl who was raped, a boy who was molested, they typically live with their secret.  They tell no one.  Its too horrible to talk about.  They fear what will happen to them if they tell.

If someone does find out - they are looked at with pity or more likely, they are avoided or the subject is glossed over in denial because no one wants to address it, its too damn ugly.

So...please understand that you are a victim that is also a survivor.  Don't let the monsters win, fight for your self worth, work through your anger, accept the unfairness.

Talk to someone who understands...someone who knows how it feels.  You can take your life back.  It will never be 100% gone the emotional wounds heal goes on but the scars never completely fade, they are a lifelong reminder.

I'm sorry life is so unfair and that so many children lose their innocence.  I wish I knew a way to make it all just stop.

Happy New Year to all the Survivors out there - you are not alone.

Merry Christmas

This blog isn't the type that generates a lot of comments, but quite a few people read it.

I just want to thank you all for reading, it keeps me going.  I feel a need to share what I know, to reach out to the hurting, and to educate parents on how to keep their kids safe.

Wishing you all Happy Holidays!

Mission Viejo Man Arrested for Child Molestation

"A 43-year-old Mission Viejo man is being held on $1-million bail after being arrested Thursday on charges of child molestation.

Omar Guzman was booked into jail Thursday after being arrested for allegedly molesting two young children who live nearby him in the Casa Loma condo complex on the 25800 block of Marguerite Parkway.

Social Services contacted the Sheriff’s Department, which investigated the incident and discovered a third young victim from years ago.

Guzman faces multiple life sentences if convicted."

taken from Mission Viejo Life Blog

OC Teacher Arrested for Having Sex With Student

Scott Adrian Peterson

You can find the full story here on the OC Register's site.  The allegations are that this teacher, age 48, has had an ongoing sexual relationship with a 17 year old student.  By law, a person has to be 18 years old to legally consent to sex so he was hauled off to jail.

So, lets say this student was indeed 18 years old.  Suddenly it becomes legal for her Spanish teacher to have sex with her, but does that make it okay?  Does the school condone such things?  How do the other students feel (or this guy's wife if he has one).  

I personally would not want my children being taught by a teacher that was sexually involved with one of their classmates.  This guy is 31 years older than the girl.  Something is not right here even if it were legal (which it is not).

A Community for Survivors of Rape and Sexual Abuse and Their Friends and Family

I received a heartbreaking comment here this week.  It reminded me once again how alone and devastated one can feel as they try to live a "normal" life after having their childhood corrupted and stolen from them by sexual abuse.  Its so hard to talk about it because, as I've mentioned before, even if the victim is willing to bring it up - it makes other people uncomfortable because they don't know what to say. UNLESS you have walked in the same painful shoes, its difficult to comfort someone and sometimes can even unintentionally make them feel even more isolated by lack of knowing what to say.  That's one reason I recommend Pandy's (officially known as Pandora's Project).

Pandy's is the best resource I know of to find real people who understand and care about what you may be going through.  I have volunteer on their site and donate when I can.  There are other sites out there, RAIIN is the largest one, but I feel that Pandy's is more warm, and inviting with real people there for one purpose.  

Pandora's Project is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization dedicated to providing information, support, and resources to survivors of rape and sexual abuse and their friends and family. We have been devoted to recovery and healing since 1999.

Pandora's Project offers peer support to anyone who has been a victim of rape, sexual assault, or sexual abuse through our online support group, Pandora's Aquarium. We believe that connecting with other rape and sexual abuse survivors is an important part of healing. Our online support group includes a message board, chat room, and blogs. It is free to join and is safely moderated by a diverse group of survivors.

If you are in crisis or need professional support now, check out these resources to find the help you deserve: Crisis Support & Hotlines

Pandora's Project is staffed entirely by volunteers. To make a tax-deductible donation to support our work, please visit our donations page.

Rabbi and His Three Sons Accused of Raping Daughters/Sisters

This is exceptionally sick and evil.  A rabbi doing and his sons raping and abusing his daughters for years, one as young as 8 years old.  I hope they pay for their crimes. 

NEW YORK -- A Hasidic rabbi and three of his sons are suspected of sexually abusing at least four female relatives after the eldest victim confided in a co-worker at a Jewish school, police said Friday.

The 58-year-old father and his 21-year-old son fled to Israel two days ago and are wanted for questioning in the case, police said. They were apparently driven to the airport by the mother.

Two other sons, a 24-year-old and a 15-year-old, were arrested on sexual abuse and rape charges. It was unclear whether they had attorneys, and a message left at the home wasn't immediately returned.

The suspects' names are being withheld by The Associated Press to avoid identification of victims.

Police say the abuse came to light after the oldest victim, now 20, who worked as a teacher's aide at a yeshiva in Brooklyn, told a teacher there she had been abused. Authorities believe she was assaulted by her father repeatedly for 15 years. The other victims range in age from 8 to 19, and investigators believe the abuse was also repeated.

Police say the father is suspected of abusing at least two of his daughters. The brothers were accused of rape and other crimes for abusing their sisters. The youngest suspect was accused of sexually assaulting the 8-year-old.

Source:  KTLA

Convicted Sex Offender Set Free By Stupid Judge

This one really gets me irate! This guy is dangerous and needs to be kept locked up, yet he "found Jesus" in prison so the judge is letting him out??!!??!!??!! Unbelievable.

I took the following from True Crime:

Joel Large doesn't seem deserving of a pass. In 2008, a juvenile told Los Lunas, New Mexico police that the 44-year-old creep was stalking her in a sexual manner. A search of his house revealed photos and videos of children engaging in sex with each other and adults...

Detectives also found meth, syringes and baggies used for packaging meth for sale. Large further confessed that he'd been supplying kids with booze and cigs. 

He would later plead no contest to sexual exploitation of children, drug trafficking and three counts of contributing to the delinquency to a minor. In July, Judge William Sanchez sentenced him to 12 years in prison. 

At the time, Large had already done two years in jail while he awaited sentencing. Other inmates hadn't treated him so well. He'd been raped and beaten by his fellow cons. According to his brother, the whole ordeal caused him to find Jesus. 

So Large's lawyer appealed the sentence, asking Judge Sanchez to reconsider. Large claimed he'd been a meth addict since 1984, and that it impaired his decisions. He also claimed he didn't know downloading child porn was illegal. Finally, he said he'd found Jesus while in the slam, and that he was now ready to devote his life to Christ.

We're not sure if Judge Sanchez is a religion nut, a liberal do-gooder, or maybe just the most naive judge in the Western Hemisphere. But he apparently bought Large's plea. 

On Tuesday, he set Large free after serving just five months of his original sentence. Though Large will still be on probation for five years and have to register as a sex offender, he's now free to roam the streets of Los Lunas. That can't be good for the little girls in town -- or the judge's reelection odds.

One of the Worst Types of Offenders....

In my opinion one of the worst types of offenders are the men (and women) in clergy.  In their position of not only power, but of "spiritual direction" a child (or adult) can be left traumatized not only physically, emotionally and mentally - but spiritually as well.

I'd like to share a link to a blog called "Deep Thoughts".  The writer of this blog may be bringing these stories to light for his own reasons, but the important thing is that we become aware to the point that we are not paranoid but careful.

Years ago I found out that my son's childhood Sunday School teacher was arrested for sexually abusing a child.   No one at our church had any clue that this guy was a perv, he had a wife and son of his own.  He appeared to be a nice guy.  I wrote about him here.

So, remember, it happens not just in stories of others, but to us as well.  I wish we didn't have to think about these things.  I wish hating something made it go away.  Unfortunately that doesn't work.

Violent Sexual Predator Relased to OC Tomorrow!

Lawrence Brown

Sometimes I want to throw intelligent words out the window and just yell at the top of my lungs, "WHAT THE ____ ARE THEY THINKING!"

One thing I know is that it has been shown again and again and again that sexual predators can not be rehabilitated. They get out and re-offend and MANY times the crimes escalate. The absolute perfect example from very recently is this scumbag, John Gardner, who KILLED two young girls after being let out after raping several girls.

WHEN ARE WE GOING TO LEARN THAT ENDANGERING INNOCENT PEOPLE IS NOT OKAY? 

I am sickened. Here's the story:

SANTA ANA, Calif. (KABC) -- The Orange County District Attorney's (OCDA) Office released a statement Tuesday warning the community of the impending release of a convicted violent sex offender.

The suspect, Lawrence Joseph Brown, 52, was convicted of kidnapping and forcible sex on two Santa Ana girls, ages 7 and 8, in two separate assaults. Sentencing enhancements were added to the convictions due to the violent nature of the crimes.

Brown was released on parole in April. He was free for several days before he violated his parole. He had registered as a sex offender in Santa Ana but lived with a girlfriend in Tustin. Tustin Police were never notified. On May, 6, 2010, only 10 days after being released from prison, he was violated on his parole and sent back to state prison.

The OCDA has requested that Brown be classified as a Sexually Violent Predator so he would be civilly committed, according to the OCDA's office.

The OCDA's office says the state Department of Mental Health has not responded to the classification request in a timely manner.

Brown is scheduled to be released Wednesday from Chino State Prison. He's scheduled to be released into Orange County.

Taken from ABC News, rest of story (including a video) here.  THIS VIDEO TELLS YOU WHAT KIND OF A MONSTER THIS GUY IS!  ITS INSANE THAT THEY ARE LETTING THIS DUDE OUT!